Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her." The conversation ended with me getting hung up on, because I "don't have a heart." FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was no longer sexually attracted to me. He then followed that with, "But don't worry, it's not because you're fat." FML
Today, my boyfriend of nearly 4 years, with whom I have a baby, broke up with me. His reason? His best friend said he didn't like drinking with guys who were "tied down". FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
Today, while cuddling in bed with my drunk boyfriend, he kissed me softly then told me under no circumstances would he ever marry me. Then kissed me again. FML
Today, my boyfriend video-called me in the middle of the night, drunk after a night out of partying. He told me that he was chatted up by a girl and proudly exclaimed that he told her off, given his status, all the while showing large hickeys on his neck. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Leprecon 3
Dump him. He treats you like crap, so don't waste your time with this asshole.
beer01 0
Agreed! Dont stay around if he treats you like shit. Dump him as well, just like crap.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (140)
ladyreal420 3
wow he's a asshole. u should have BITCH slapped him and tell him to play with his own dick cause mama you can so do better n deserve it. every woman does. except for the gold digging ******, STRIPPERs, fakes bitches, and dumb ass hoes.......
MRVOlivia 22
At least ya aren't fat with pornstar boobs! FYL anyways though :)
gracetaylor 0
omg you really need to dump that dick head!!
sgtsk8er 3
Dump his skeazy ass. You deserve better. If he's saying it drunk to your face he's been saying it sober behind your back.
smilelynzi 5
Is he still your boyfriend?? I hope not, what an ass
mysweetinsanity 3
Dump that sob
rosesong2494 3
Drunken words are sober thoughts... Even if he's under the influence, I see no reason why he needed to be so cruel. It's bad enough to hear something like that in private, let alone in front of others. If I were you, I'd go find somebody who respects you, because clearly this idiot doesn't.
jonha21 11
Wuhahahahaha
nemcali 34
Ex boyfriend of a year I hope
Mortalspirit 4
A drunk man's words are a wise man's thoughts.