Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her." The conversation ended with me getting hung up on, because I "don't have a heart." FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was no longer sexually attracted to me. He then followed that with, "But don't worry, it's not because you're fat." FML
Today, my boyfriend of nearly 4 years, with whom I have a baby, broke up with me. His reason? His best friend said he didn't like drinking with guys who were "tied down". FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
Today, while cuddling in bed with my drunk boyfriend, he kissed me softly then told me under no circumstances would he ever marry me. Then kissed me again. FML
Today, my boyfriend video-called me in the middle of the night, drunk after a night out of partying. He told me that he was chatted up by a girl and proudly exclaimed that he told her off, given his status, all the while showing large hickeys on his neck. FML
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Top comments
Leprecon 3
Dump him. He treats you like crap, so don't waste your time with this asshole.
beer01 0
Agreed! Dont stay around if he treats you like shit. Dump him as well, just like crap.
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Comments (140)
love2bu 0
jayratch your an ass...does everything have to be exciting for you?
UK_fml 0
what a focking twat, get a new boyfriend but make sure he is a genttleman, you can sort of get to know a guy after a 10 min chat. you should of have dump his arse at the very beginning.
love2bu 0
sorry jayratch they shouldnt let me use my ipod after my womens rights classes
perdix 31
Don't be an idiot. Move on. You need to find a nice pedophile for a boyfriend. To them, a flat-chested woman is close enough to a teenage boy that they can fulfill their fantasies without landing in prison. Plus, you have a handy-dandy ****** for weiner storage. Good thing he didn't say all this shit around "your" friends.
infiniti_G 0
PERDIX FOR PRESIDENT
Rizzen 27
lets not kiss ass here please
PhillyFox 0
If you're smart, he's now your ex.
TrekkieGirl 0
Agreed. OP if he is not your ex by now, then YDI for not having enough self-esteem to drop him!
13__Loki__13 1
Hold on a minute here ladies, maybe... just maybe the OP is a horible lay. Having the tools and knowing how to use them are two different things. Nothing less interesting several months into a relationship than bad sex. Actually you must be really bad for him to say something like that in front if others. I think you're about to get dumped or he's getting something newer on the side. Anyway, have a special day bad lay lady!
snafu57 1
you've heard this before, it still stands true today, any more than a fist or a handful is wasted. I think the smaller is a much more attractive package. larger ones just sort of lay there and look baggy.
tcbailey 0
you should hve responded with," well the reason you haven't gotten any in so long is because it's against my religion to **** things THAT small( pointing to his dick)!!!" then you should have slapped him and walked out.
alin123 0
drunken words are sober thoughts :o!!
brixxx32 0
wow, that's terrible. get revenge :)