Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents for the first time. My dad took one look at him, sighed and said, "You deserve someone better. Someone who is responsible, and has their priorities straight in life." Beyond upset, I told my dad that I love him. My dad disgruntledly responded, "I was talking to him." FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. Turns out his dad is the asshole customer that I complain about all the time. He recognized me too and spent the entire dinner making passive-aggressive remarks about how bad of an employee I am. FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
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Top comments
emvictoria 9
My dad pretty much said the same thing.. But said get out while you can.. I'm sure your dad was just mucking around.. My boyfriend freaked out when my dad said it.. But 3 years later and we are still together :)
boofgall 16
Damn Alan, I'd love to meet you. Sadly, I'm in Canada. :(
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Comments (105)
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Alan, I'm in Blighty, in south London. You can pick me up along the way (if you're feeling generous)... I like cucumbers.
marmlr339 14
Come to Australia!
Jamialia 5
What ^^ said. NSW in particular.
GoW_Chick 15
Aw poor Alan is stuck locked up in the FML dungeon, don't worry I'll save you! I wish I could go for a meet and greet, but sadly I work to much with little money to show for it, and so I can finally tell the FML team in person how damn addictive this site can be.
deequu 20
And before this happened you couldn't tell your dad to say stuff like that in front of him because.... :/
Endless_time 4
He just said it backwards that's all....
Fisahgurl 1
Could've been worse.. My stepdad called the cops and said my ex was sexually harassing me. Yeah that wasn't a good day.. Good luck though!
Pentium_4 27
DAMNIT. now my stomach is growling....
ThisIsMyReign 4
42 - I had the same problem just change it with the computer.
corleon198425 22
Is your dad Greg house