Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents for the first time. My dad took one look at him, sighed and said, "You deserve someone better. Someone who is responsible, and has their priorities straight in life." Beyond upset, I told my dad that I love him. My dad disgruntledly responded, "I was talking to him." FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. Turns out his dad is the asshole customer that I complain about all the time. He recognized me too and spent the entire dinner making passive-aggressive remarks about how bad of an employee I am. FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
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Top comments
emvictoria 9
My dad pretty much said the same thing.. But said get out while you can.. I'm sure your dad was just mucking around.. My boyfriend freaked out when my dad said it.. But 3 years later and we are still together :)
boofgall 16
Damn Alan, I'd love to meet you. Sadly, I'm in Canada. :(
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Comments (105)
vansandtans 3
Lol
DocBastard 40
*writes this in "DocBastard's Big Book Of Insults"* I'll have to remember this for the future. Anything I can do to keep morons away from my daughter...
GoW_Chick 15
You know I'd like to have a peek a DocBastards big book of insults, I bet we could publish it, and it would be a best seller, think of the merchandise opportunities.
GoW_Chick 15
Dads will say anything to keep guys away from their baby girl, I'm sure he meant it as a threat.
GovernorGeneral 8
Oh alan, we love the smell of desperation and rotten cucumber sandwiches...so turn your ass and come to canada ;D
Emulersod 4
You should've just said: "Well.. the apple doesn't fall far from the tree"
lilacgold 16
My ex's mother did the same thing. She was right.
CryMoreFMLs 15
The good ol' South is too far away. It's a shame, I'd really like to meet ya'll.
slushpup9696 12
I wish I could meet Perdix.
MagicallyFat 12
Oh that's awesome I'm gonna try and visit!
CrazyGirl445 4
and this is why I'm scared to bring my boyfriend home. My dad is the "I think I'm funny" type.