Today, my boyfriend has been sulking like a moody kid all day, all because I won't set my phone background to a picture of his dick. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted me to send him a pic of myself being happy for his phone's caller ID. So I picked out a picture where I'm grinning a big grin, clearly very happy like he asked. He replies back, "You look weird there. Send a pretty one." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML
Today, I tried to send my boyfriend a sexy picture. I took a close up picture of my face, and, trying to be sexy, had my naked body reflected on a mirror in the background. First thing he replied was, "Who the hell is that guy in the background?" FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, my boyfriend took a selfie of us. When he turned his phone around, I saw his photos and there was a picture of him with his ex girlfriend earlier that day, despite him saying he had been at work all day. FML
Today, I decided to change my boyfriend's background on his phone. As I was in the process of changing it, I noticed his most recent picture is of a naked girl. The naked girl happened to be my 18 year-old sister. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a nude picture. I would have been fine with it if he hadn't taken it in his ex-girlfriend's room. FML
Today, I was looking through my boyfriends phone, when I found a naked picture of myself. Too bad I haven't sent him any. Ever. FML
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Top comments
MidnightRain3 16
Just tell him it's so big, it won't fit on the screen. Stroke his ego without having to get your hands dirty. ;)
saffy66 34
I'd be a little concerned about what he's using as his own phone background...
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Comments (57)
gosh_mate 30
And why would he want that.... What if a friend sees your phone?
LittleRed79 39
Tell him that you didn't think it was possible to take a picture of his personality.
EnderKris 17
That is a very strange thing for someone to get upset over.
keiNan_fml 35
what a dick.
Dexter83_fml 17
Tell him to grow up and stop being so stupid
ViviMage 40
Place his face on a donkey, set as background. That way you can have his ass as a background! And if someone picks up your phone like a family member not expecting to see HIS member, will he support you? He just wants you to handle his dick as much as you handle the phone! That is so shallow to think that's all sex or a girlfriend is good for. He needs to grow up, perhaps he will after you move on.
kwm997 1
Ridickulous...
atsignat 18
So he is a dickface
itwasntme14 19
This seems like it's a small problem...
shitstorm28 11
I see what you did there.
kbecks87 16
YDI for dating someone so immature.