Today, my boyfriend got so baked, he thought I was in the washing machine. I came downstairs to find him sitting in a puddle of soaking wet clothes, crying about where I was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
Today, I passed out in the shower with my boyfriend. He just left me there. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend standing at the end of the bed staring at a large wet spot. Boy do I know how to pick 'em! FML
Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
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Top comments
trulypar 34
How sweet, he tried to save you from drowning in the washer.
SkullsRules1 26
That would have been a great time to just start talking and let him think that you had dissolved into bubbles.
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Comments (86)
tzuri4 11
At least you know he loves you
lantz4levi 19
"And that's why you don't do drugs kids"
laden_swallow09 35
"Stay in school, don't do drugs, and drink yo milk!" "Drugs're bayad, m'kay?"
Toksik_Kid 14
That's not weed....that's some kind of heroin
bandaidstations 28
No, if it was heroin he would be passed out not giving any ***** where his girlfriend was.
bapbap_fml 15
He must have some really good weed. Or it's laced with crack.
Leauge 13
He cares about you and that's what matters!
fakedsincerity 32
That's so adorable. I'd then proceed to tease him about it for the rest of his life.
RememberSchlitz 9
It might be time to ask him if he wants to maybe, you know, sorta kinda step away from the bong for a while. That level of stoned is far beyond "recreational use".
tomvertigo 17
Baked implies he smoked pot... what the **** did he smoke to get that bad?
wolf12king 12
The good shit
NickACD 27
Yes.
tomvertigo 17
Dank a.f. heroin soaked weed?
momo3p 22
420 ydis
cptncuttlefish 24
That's actually kinda cute. In the weirdest way possible.