Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML
Today, my dad walked into my school and joked around saying that he's going to shoot my boyfriend. We all laughed. Except my boyfriend. He was sobbing in a corner. FML
Today, my dad joked he’d have to fight my boyfriend to find out if he’s worthy. My boyfriend grew up abused by his dad and older brothers, and has a powerful instinct to fight back. My dad is now out cold on the floor and my boyfriend is in the corner rocking back and forth and crying. FML
Today, I came home early, and my boyfriend's car was in my driveway. Inside, he was talking to my parents. He walked right past me and left. My mother then says, "He wanted me to tell you it's over." FML
Today, my boyfriend's car broke down on the way to the gym, so he called his dad to give us a ride. On the way, his dad talked about how much he hates me and our relationship, as if I wasn’t sitting in the back seat directly behind them. FML
Today, my parents met my boyfriend, and to say it went badly is an understatement. My mom went outside to relax by chain smoking and the shouting, and the screaming only ended when my dad took my boyfriend by the scruff of the neck and threw him out the front door into the street. FML
Today, my boyfriend has never gotten along with my dad, but this afternoon during what I thought was a completely normal conversation, he just stood up, yelled he couldn’t take my dad anymore, punched him in the nose, dumped me, and drove away. FML
Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend, who’s a massage therapist, if he could help my mom with her chronic migraines by massaging her head and neck. My dad came home, saw them in the dimly lit room and knocked my boyfriend out cold for "touching his woman." My boyfriend dumped me and wants my dad arrested. FML
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Top comments
Quinn32 16
There are worse things in his lap he could have been stroking.
Eliseopwns 22
'Murica.
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Comments (146)
BrookieAnn 19
My dad did that to my current boyfriend. Except my boyfriend joined him. fyl
perdix 31
You mean your boyfriend stroked your dad's gun while he sat there in his underwear? Why did you stick around to watch?
ironichalibut 24
15- Like a true boss, but I can't help but wonder why your boyfriend drove you home in his underwear with a shotgun.
mansen 15
first bf...took to visit uncle who happened to be cutting up a moose on kitchen table. uncle,"so *loud thwacks of butcher knife on meat* what are your intentions with my niece *thwack thwack". Funny as hell to me to watch. Boyfriend almost peed his pants in fear.
kishorekumar_a 10
15 - Did your father say, "I like this one, let's keep him" after he left...
BurumaB 2
What do you mean "joined him"?
perdix 31
Smart man. If he wants to get him some, he needs to find a girl whose dad doesn't give a shit.
eyesmile27 7
Oh my.
Pstraka6 20
He might be just a little overprotective
Kiwi2499 11
Hey I would too!
Yessi_Boo 14
*flips leg hair* same.
InfamousLastWord 9
So your dad is.just gunning for the chance to shoot down your social life?
kayley93 3
How did I know this was going to be in Texas?
ChefRonny903 3
Because your the kind of person real texans like me can't stand, thinking all of us are illiterate and live the "country" lifestyle...well guess what? I hate the country and Texas is just like any place else, we have cars just like anyone else.... People and their stereotypes smh
Cian_1 28
You're* :)
Dontbelikeme 2
Shut up Texas bitch, you sound like you have a stick up your ass, FYL for being a **** sucker
TxCountryBeauty 10
I was glad when I found out this was in Tx because it meant that we still value our children's innocence. I promise you if my daddy scared off my boyfriends with guns then I wouldn't have been as crazy as I was.
RedPillSucks 33
What's wrong with the "country" lifestyle?
PerditaDessa 38
Go to the nearest biker bar, and tell your story. One will happily come back with you, go up to the porch and shake your father's hand. Then you can shrug and say "well, you didn't like the last one," when he has a fit.
tt23 11
At least you know he loves you, in a gun-toting nudist sort of way...at least it's original.
awynn209 1
ya except its not original