Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML
Today, my dad walked into my school and joked around saying that he's going to shoot my boyfriend. We all laughed. Except my boyfriend. He was sobbing in a corner. FML
Today, my dad joked he’d have to fight my boyfriend to find out if he’s worthy. My boyfriend grew up abused by his dad and older brothers, and has a powerful instinct to fight back. My dad is now out cold on the floor and my boyfriend is in the corner rocking back and forth and crying. FML
Today, I came home early, and my boyfriend's car was in my driveway. Inside, he was talking to my parents. He walked right past me and left. My mother then says, "He wanted me to tell you it's over." FML
Today, my boyfriend's car broke down on the way to the gym, so he called his dad to give us a ride. On the way, his dad talked about how much he hates me and our relationship, as if I wasn’t sitting in the back seat directly behind them. FML
Today, my parents met my boyfriend, and to say it went badly is an understatement. My mom went outside to relax by chain smoking and the shouting, and the screaming only ended when my dad took my boyfriend by the scruff of the neck and threw him out the front door into the street. FML
Today, my boyfriend has never gotten along with my dad, but this afternoon during what I thought was a completely normal conversation, he just stood up, yelled he couldn’t take my dad anymore, punched him in the nose, dumped me, and drove away. FML
Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend, who’s a massage therapist, if he could help my mom with her chronic migraines by massaging her head and neck. My dad came home, saw them in the dimly lit room and knocked my boyfriend out cold for "touching his woman." My boyfriend dumped me and wants my dad arrested. FML
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Top comments
Quinn32 16
There are worse things in his lap he could have been stroking.
Eliseopwns 22
'Murica.
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Comments (146)
Koleckai 16
You're lucky. I plan on having my gun out and will be cleaning it while I give him the talk about protecting my daughter with his life and never hurting her.
kishorekumar_a 10
You are much better in my opinion, because you are just ensuring his intentions unlike OP's father who straight away scares him even before meeting him.
seacadet 18
Come on in boy, sit on down And tell me 'bout yourself So you like my daughter, do you now Yeah we think she's something else She's her daddy's girl and her mama's world She deserves respect, that's what she'll get, ain't it son Now y'all run along and have some fun I'll see you when you get back Bet I'll be up all night Still cleaning this gun Rodney Akins_ cleanin this gun
wlddog 14
Not likely. As a dad myself, I understand the role a dad plays in his daughters dating life. He is there to protect his little girl from jerks that just want in her pants. And he knows how little boys thing. OP needs to thank you dad for letting her know early on how spineless her boyfriend is, and showed her early how he will not standup for her.
noelasis94 18
Good thing your boyfriends eyes didn't wander, he might have used his gun. Strange he was on the porch in his underwear, they were plum smugglers weren't they?
Sheh_fml 25
Yes, treating daughters like property. How cute.
j_cat187 20
Yes because being protective towards someone makes them your property.
j_cat187 20
Jokes on you I have an arsenal.
rasemordnilap 3
Hey bubba jay! Guess who else is late!
grandpuba 6
Guns don't kill people, fathers with pretty daughters kill people!
DyslexicPanda 12
Just because a father is sitting on their porch holding a shotgun doesn't mean they're going to shoot the boyfriend.. The underwear part is a little weird mind you, but how often do you really see "Shotgun wielding father murders daughter's boyfriend" in the headlines? If he's a stand up guy he'd have nothing to worry about. It didn't say he pointed it at him geeze..
Enslaved 38
Unfortunately that tactic may scare the decent guys away and leave only the piece of ***** that won't get scared off by daddy's gun.
Misskayfoyer 14
You're from Texas. You've had to see this coming!