Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML
Today, my dad walked into my school and joked around saying that he's going to shoot my boyfriend. We all laughed. Except my boyfriend. He was sobbing in a corner. FML
Today, my dad joked he’d have to fight my boyfriend to find out if he’s worthy. My boyfriend grew up abused by his dad and older brothers, and has a powerful instinct to fight back. My dad is now out cold on the floor and my boyfriend is in the corner rocking back and forth and crying. FML
Today, I came home early, and my boyfriend's car was in my driveway. Inside, he was talking to my parents. He walked right past me and left. My mother then says, "He wanted me to tell you it's over." FML
Today, my boyfriend's car broke down on the way to the gym, so he called his dad to give us a ride. On the way, his dad talked about how much he hates me and our relationship, as if I wasn’t sitting in the back seat directly behind them. FML
Today, my parents met my boyfriend, and to say it went badly is an understatement. My mom went outside to relax by chain smoking and the shouting, and the screaming only ended when my dad took my boyfriend by the scruff of the neck and threw him out the front door into the street. FML
Today, my boyfriend has never gotten along with my dad, but this afternoon during what I thought was a completely normal conversation, he just stood up, yelled he couldn’t take my dad anymore, punched him in the nose, dumped me, and drove away. FML
Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend, who’s a massage therapist, if he could help my mom with her chronic migraines by massaging her head and neck. My dad came home, saw them in the dimly lit room and knocked my boyfriend out cold for "touching his woman." My boyfriend dumped me and wants my dad arrested. FML
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Top comments
Quinn32 16
There are worse things in his lap he could have been stroking.
Eliseopwns 22
'Murica.
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Comments (146)
Suaria 38
Haha this is exactly what my brother would do. My dad could honestly care less. Whenever my brother comes over, he asks if anyone is giving me trouble and if anyone is, he will personally beat them up for me. Yep my brother is the stereotypical dad for me.
alomo19 7
I went to meet my girlfriends parents officially last night even though her dad is my biology teacher and her mom is my school counselor. He just got a new handgun that day and cleaned it for about an hour on the kitchen table...she said he used his good gun cleaning kit as a terror technique. We live in Alaska, it didn't work.
Ksweety_fml 27
If I we're him I wouldn't come either!
Voij 16
Please don't forget the "staring in the eyes and slowly shaking his head" part, because it changes the story a whole lot from just a simple "sitting on the porch with his shotgun". It changes this from a simple "I am willing to defend/protect my daughter" to "I do not approve of you and I own a shotgun which I am not afraid to use". (Whether he would actually use it or not is irrelevant here, as this is the message he is undoubtedly sending out.) I can fully understand the boyfriends reaction. It's not about being courageous/having spine, it's about making sure that you'll have nothing to do with this crazy lunatic of a father. On that note, what if you were to bring your date home, then see the father who has a large picture of you in his hand, pulls out a kitchen knife and stabs it into pieces while laughing like a maniac? Or what if he put your photo on top of a dart board and threw knives at it? Would you still think: Well, this must be a rational being who in no way desires to do anything harmful to me.
ileenefudge 29
Daddy's little girl. At least that's what your dad sees you as and he just wants to make sure your boyfriend is smart enough not to hurt you or he will be the one getting hurt.
notjanedoe 27
Daddy's little girl? More like daddy's little possession not allowed to make her own decisions, her own friends or have her own life because her obsessive father acts more like her possessive husband. To me it looks like you are in an abusive relationship before you even had a real relationship. I feel sincerely sorry for you OP.
ileenefudge 29
I was wrong. I didn't see it as overprotective at first.
acerima 11
Your dad is awesome. Remember ladies, we were all young ourselves, we know what they want and are capable of....... Just not with my daughter.
skyeyez9 25
So you prefer your daughter to be single, lonely and miserable? Dating is a necessary step to getting married one day.
kenoswild 14
For some reason I envisioned the dad as Dale from King of the Hill.
SiHa00095 15
Sounds about right for Texas. :P
SophiaLaw 3
I think this is the kind of situation in which you are perfectly entitled to tell your darling father to stay the **** out of your business and stop being such a psycho.