Today, my boyfriend came in to kiss me. Being sweaty and nasty, I said, "Not now, I'm hot and sweaty." He looked at me blankly and said, "So am I, just smell my ball sweat." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, I tried to gently tell my boyfriend that he needs to wash his clothes more often as some of them smell pretty musty. He got all pissy (no pun intended) and assured me that none of his exes ever complained about a smell. I can’t even go down on the guy because his crotch smells bad. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
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Top comments
talkstoomuch 8
That is just nasty.
perdix 31
Ball sweat? Was he trying to kiss you with his face or Jeffrey Jr's?
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Comments (63)
perdix 31
Ball sweat? Was he trying to kiss you with his face or Jeffrey Jr's?
picklezz123 5
Did you ?
seeb49 7
He sounds experienced.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
So I guess this week's FML trend is 'my retarded significant other and his nether regions.' So far we've got ball sweat and talking farts.
obsydian_fml 3
Do it! ;)
julisa47 5
Hahaha
SeasonedLemur 5
Known by many as male vineger
Jays7 10
^WIN!
bubo_fml 11
That's guyspeak for, "Darling, would you be so kind as to perform oral fallacio on my unhygienic member?"
Bladian 5
Oral fellatio? That's redundant.
Calyx_fml 22
Napoleon once wrote his woman to tell her that he'd be home from war in two months, so she should stop bathing. He liked it that way.
Deathhound 27
He is just so cute, ain't he?