Today, my boyfriend came home, chugged a beer, and passed out in our bed without saying hello or goodnight to me. I've been on vacation for a week and was hoping to cuddle. But no, if I try to touch him, he hits me and growls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, drinks, and tickets to Six Flags for my birthday. He is currently passed out drunk on the other side of the bed, cursing me out in his sleep. FML
Today, after my boyfriend ignored me for hours playing video games, he gave me some attention for a little bit. When I tried to run my fingers through his hair, I missed and punched him in the face. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML
Today, my boyfriend was trying to describe his feelings. I asked him if he felt any emotions other than "anger." He went to get a beer and never came back. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, my boyfriend elbowed me in the eye while we were sleeping. His excuse: "You shouldn't have stayed over." FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we left the Skype call on all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me to come over because we "needed to talk." Going down the stairs, I tripped and fell. I woke up from unconsciousness with a hurting leg and my boyfriend standing over me. Just as I was about to smile and ask for a kiss, he said, "Maybe we should take a break" and left. FML
Today, while cuddling in bed with my drunk boyfriend, he kissed me softly then told me under no circumstances would he ever marry me. Then kissed me again. FML
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Top comments
cradle6 13
And you're with him because...?
RedPillSucks 33
Growls? That's what you get for dating a dog.
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Comments (183)
DingoCJ 15
Hang on.. Whats that saying again? Oh yea, "Let sleeping dogs lie." Take a hint
Smashley91 2
Dump him!!!
chubby_choco 17
I'd shove him out of bed with a broom! >:D
Themusician991 3
Sounds like a real charmer!
newburton13 26
Since he seems to want to act like a dog, why don't you put a shock collar on him?
Kony12 0
Today, after a double shift at work I found out my best friend since kindergarten is dying from cancer I returned home in a state of shock and beret with grief. I grabbed a beer and hit the sack trying to wash away the grief that consumed me for my dying friend, I purposely ignored my girlfriend so I would not feel embarrassed breaking down in tears in front of her. fML
Allysaurus 0
You need to dump his drunk ass !
oldred16 0
Dump his ass
simonepedretti 7
Ditch him lol
janey123 0
Uh… DUMP HIS SORRY ASS!!!