Today, my boyfriend came home, chugged a beer, and passed out in our bed without saying hello or goodnight to me. I've been on vacation for a week and was hoping to cuddle. But no, if I try to touch him, he hits me and growls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, drinks, and tickets to Six Flags for my birthday. He is currently passed out drunk on the other side of the bed, cursing me out in his sleep. FML
Today, after my boyfriend ignored me for hours playing video games, he gave me some attention for a little bit. When I tried to run my fingers through his hair, I missed and punched him in the face. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML
Today, my boyfriend was trying to describe his feelings. I asked him if he felt any emotions other than "anger." He went to get a beer and never came back. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, my boyfriend elbowed me in the eye while we were sleeping. His excuse: "You shouldn't have stayed over." FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we left the Skype call on all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me to come over because we "needed to talk." Going down the stairs, I tripped and fell. I woke up from unconsciousness with a hurting leg and my boyfriend standing over me. Just as I was about to smile and ask for a kiss, he said, "Maybe we should take a break" and left. FML
Today, while cuddling in bed with my drunk boyfriend, he kissed me softly then told me under no circumstances would he ever marry me. Then kissed me again. FML
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Top comments
cradle6 13
And you're with him because...?
RedPillSucks 33
Growls? That's what you get for dating a dog.
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Comments (183)
spp87 0
He's tired from working all day to pay for your week long vacation
Thundercleese 0
FML is for people whose problems can't be solved by uttering one simple sentence. "I'm dumping your lazy drunk ass," for instance.
singinalto 1
You deserve it if you stay with a man that horrible!!!
psetterl 0
take a real vacation and throw him and his stuff out.
Michael_92 20
Yea umm I wouldn't ever do that to my gf...thats just so bad. More importantly why would I stay home when she was on vacation? Makes no sense to me.
mixmaster647 2
Do you deserve someone like that??
whosurdaddy123 0
Well ive got a solution to all your problems, r u ready, alright ............................................. GNARLAND!!!!
BlazingFire 4
I would grab a video camera and video cam him growling and hitting then put it onto youtube LOL
bearhugger70 1
I'd say dump too and I'm 40 lol ;) whether he liked her being away or not is immaterial! He's a dick!
scthundermlb53 0
You should have had the beer ready and waiting.