Today, my boyfriend came home, chugged a beer, and passed out in our bed without saying hello or goodnight to me. I've been on vacation for a week and was hoping to cuddle. But no, if I try to touch him, he hits me and growls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, drinks, and tickets to Six Flags for my birthday. He is currently passed out drunk on the other side of the bed, cursing me out in his sleep. FML
Today, after my boyfriend ignored me for hours playing video games, he gave me some attention for a little bit. When I tried to run my fingers through his hair, I missed and punched him in the face. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML
Today, my boyfriend was trying to describe his feelings. I asked him if he felt any emotions other than "anger." He went to get a beer and never came back. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, my boyfriend elbowed me in the eye while we were sleeping. His excuse: "You shouldn't have stayed over." FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we left the Skype call on all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me to come over because we "needed to talk." Going down the stairs, I tripped and fell. I woke up from unconsciousness with a hurting leg and my boyfriend standing over me. Just as I was about to smile and ask for a kiss, he said, "Maybe we should take a break" and left. FML
Today, while cuddling in bed with my drunk boyfriend, he kissed me softly then told me under no circumstances would he ever marry me. Then kissed me again. FML
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Top comments
cradle6 13
And you're with him because...?
RedPillSucks 33
Growls? That's what you get for dating a dog.
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Comments (183)
ChaosEngine 5
To all those saying LEAVE HIM!! and that he's a loser for hitting her: Odds are pretty good he just came home from work and is exhausted. I know after pulling a 12 hour shift I want nothing to do with anyone, and if they wake me up it'd better be because the house is on fire. I can be nice tomorrow. She went on holiday for a week without him, then expected him to shower her with attention the second she walked back in. That's self centered. If coupled with item 1 above, she should have just left him alone until the next day. How would you like to be woken up after a long day by someone wanting just to 'cuddle'? You wouldn't. Maybe if they wanted to jump your bones, but other than that, unlikely. Which leads to number three. Most likely the 'hit' was a swat. No different than chucking a pillow at someone whose bothering you while YOU'RE TRYING TO SLEEP. She deserves it. And if you think I'm being sexist, the same applies if it were a guy who'd been on vacation, and it was the woman who'd come home from work. Grow some common courtesy folks.
charmanderCHAR 5
What, you can't give up your own selfishness and give the woman you supposedly love some cuddles? You're a ******* dick. I hope you never procreate. Even if I am exhausted from the day, if something awful happened to me, if I just had the shitstorm of ALL shitstorms shit upon me, and my boyfriend came back from a week of vacation and just wanted to cuddle, you better ******' believe I'd stop throwing pity parties for myself and give him the biggest and best hug of all. You think 12 hour shifts are exhausting? I laugh at you right now. I have girls working with me that have more backbone than you, who work two jobs and go to school full time, working 60+ hours a week, and still smile and are calm and courteous to the douchebags who come and dine in our establishment, who would love to see their man after a long day. So, YOU sir/ma'am, are being the self-centered one.
lustheart 7
One word. Roofies. Boom.
Donniehw 5
Well if you want to cuddle with me I'm free! Song for this story: what a catch ,Donnie Or: thnks fr th mmrs (both by fall out boy)
dancingqween 0
Yummy!
octopussperm125 18
Get wasted and join him
grudger 14
Oh wow.... I do believe those are signs of an abusive relationship, and advise you to get out as quickly as you can, before something happens to you, sorry OP
SquidgieBams 4
You need to get rid of him!!
dorkfreaknerd 0
break up with him
butterflyz1961 2
Pack your things and leave.
d00mZday456 1
Dump the douche. He doesn't deserve you. There are plenty of better men out there. But sorry for getting involved in your personal life. It isn't my right to advise on what I don't understand.