Anonymous
United States
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don't understand the bond between him and his stuffed goose. He's 36. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
London, United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML
PunkChik27
United States
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, saying we're too different. His only example? He likes ham and I don't. FML
Anonymous
Is this dude a puma?
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? Because I became a vegetarian. Apparently, he doesn't believe in "not eating meat." FML
stunned
United States
The GOAT
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Anonymous
Brookfield, United States
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wasn't feeling our two-month relationship was up to par with his parents' 30-year marriage, and, furthermore, I wasn't similar enough to his mother. FML
Who's your daddy, snake girl?
I have had it with these mf snakes on this mf plane! Everybody strap in!
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for refusing to have anything to do with "our" pet snake. The same snake I told him not to buy for his son a few months ago, because I knew the kid would get bored with it and dump the responsibility onto us. FML
Games
Gamers rise up
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said it was because his online gaming friends don't like it when I ask him to spend time with me. FML
rotezora
Basel, Switzerland
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML
cclllc
Weatherford, United States
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML
Top comments
capt_awesome1 11
that's a reason to dump someone ?
darwinism 30
Sometimes I am sad that evolution seems to skip some people. On the bright side OP, you can now strenghten the bond between you and your vibrator.
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Comments (95)
jayemdoubleyou 1
Yeah, guys who are worth a shit are already married by 36.
RedPillSucks 33
I thought this was funny because you're comment is #36. I'm easily amused.
M0rt 0
We all know who like furries.
sweetdreams20 0
Featheries? Not a word but it will work for me :)
takenover 15
He must really love that stuffed goose.
daminantion 14
Thanks for the commentary Justin Bieber.
takenover 15
Justin Bieber, NO! Matthew Gray Gubler, YES. And MGG effing rules. Now, that we have that out of the way. Every once in awhile I like to be Captain Obvious. Okay? Okay. Let's roll with this.
IndigoArkanian 4
Couldn't you have just understood the bond?
CenterOfTheEarth 0
Depending on which definition of "stuffed" you mean, it could have meant alot to him. If you mean stuff as in a teddy bear stuffing, maybe someone gave it to him before they died. It could have a great sentimental value to him. Maybe he got it as a present when he was a kid and it always stayed important to him. You dont judge someone like that. I have a little stuffed bear that my grandmother gave me before she died. I wouldn't give that for the world. Doesn't mean im childish. It just has value to me.
redbluegreen 41
Well, obviously you don't.
thiscrazything 1
Sounds like you cooked your own goose.
plzjstfml 0
Ba dum ts
wittygirl 8
Sex or a toy goose, sex .... Or a toy goose. And he picked a toy goose... Sex must of not been good.
rattusrattus 19
And all I can think of is the epic romance between swan and pedalo...
ItsTehNinjaBish 1
That's pretty funny, fyl. You should try to be more understanding with your next boyfriends infant like addictions