Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about role-playing during sex when he suddenly said, "I'll be Trump. Let's make sex great again!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML
Today, my husband's version of roleplaying was pretending that he actually wanted to have sex with me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to "spice up sex" by talking like an anime character. We had to stop after the line, "Your vagina will crumble before the power of my Hypercock!" FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML
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Top comments
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Is he gonna make Trojan pay for his condoms?
Ashamed_Sister 60
Did he grab you by your pussy?
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Comments (24)
really_dad? 14
Does that mean the sex ended up causing sex war 1?
MidnaLink 35
That doesn't have a "yuge" chance of working, I take it?
DragonMaiden7 15
Pretend you’re Mexico and tell him he gets to pay for the divorce.
lostinareverie 21
I hope you laughed, that's quality right there.
Murgray D. John 12
You can be Melania, and copy someone's sex moves.
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
That's the last person id want to think about during sex!
DavyJoe 13
Why would you marry a dumbass like that in the first place?
ProperPengTing 15
Collectively L’s.
WeirdUS 30
Let’s see you want to talk about getting kinky and he has to bring Donald Trump into it and kill the mood I hope you make them go through a dry spell of no sex
DanielleinDC 34
That would effectively kill my ladyboner until the end of time.