Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cockblocked me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our cat controls our sex life. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
nieldan 8
I guess there are two ******* purring
Not_Impressed13 9
Did you stop and take notes?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (100)
nerdx 2
Spay and neuter. YDI.
taintedtruffle 42
ok I read like the first 30 comments before giving up but I gotta put my 2 cents in 1) like every one else I hope your cats where fixed 2) You people do realize even if cats are fixed they still have sex right?
Spigley 5
I guess one does feel when love is in the air
Sansa_fml 38
Well cats don't enjoy sex like people do. It's really painfull for the female so that's why.. ;)
Kielnmsoftly 26
#84 Isn't saying it's wrong to have sex for pleasure, just that the main purpose of sex has and always will be to reproduce. If it weren't, there would be a way to go in raw and not have a chance to get a girl pregnant. Obviously it doesn't happen to same sex couples but not my point here.
TheDoctorBadWolf 5
Cats have barbs on their penis. Unbeknownst to the female, of course
ThunderLightTSV 31
Male cats have barbed genitalia. Do you really want to know what it'd feel like to have a cactus shoved up there?
JessicaRabbit324 13
Probably because male cats have barbed penises, so I wouldn't envy the cat.