Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cockblocked me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our cat controls our sex life. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
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Top comments
nieldan 8
I guess there are two ******* purring
Not_Impressed13 9
Did you stop and take notes?
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Comments (100)
MrFlash10 2
That's not a FML, that's hilarious lol.
worldclassrager 41
Go Harder...see if that does more
martin8337 36
Cat scratch fever.
Polynomial 28
Were they having it, doggy style?
ShadowlessSpear 21
That would be weird.
bgodbold 7
Well i guess at least one of the ******* got something out of it
RobertWJV86 11
Cat scratch fever!!
teejay01 15
You could have entered into a race with them and found out who hit it harder
mu89 4
What does having a cat fixed have to with sex? I have a neutered male cat who still tries to hump my arm.
Broctoroc 8
A neutered cat may still hump, but he won't help add to the overpopulation problem.
mu89 4
You misunderstand my point. Why are all of these people automatically assuming the OPs cat is not fixed? It does not matter if an animal is neutered or not, they still have sex.
Broctoroc 8
They stop having sex once they are fixed. Humping does not equal sex.
Broctoroc 8
A male cat that has been neutered after sexual maturity may still have urges and go through the motions. He may even be able to penetrate an unspayed female in heat. This is the case of using "teaser toms" with breeding females who the breeders don't want bred yet, or if the female breeder needs some convincing to accept a stud. If both the male and female cat are fixed, the male may still try to go through the motions, but no sex will occur. Due to the nature of cat mating, if a male cat (altered or not) tries to mate with a female that is unlatered, serious injury could occur to the female. If the female is unaltered and the male is altered, the female still needs to be spayed. Humping is also a dominance behaviour. It is safe to assume that at least one of these cats has not been fixed, and, based on the information given, both are unaltered. Either way, the behaviour should be corrected for the health and saftey of both the cats.
arre2006 19
time to get down like the discovery channel. get primal. The girls love it
clemscott 10
I really hope they are both desexed
cryssycakesx3 23
"desexed"