Today, after my husband yet again failed to complete his To-Do list, I took away his Xbox and PlayStation and told him he could have them back once the list was done. He stared at me and said, "No. You're not my mother. Give them back and we will talk like adults." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
Today, after my 14 year-old son brought home six Fs on his report card, we decided to take away all his video games and sell them. He screamed for hours, then went into the kitchen and started smashing glasses against his head, "until we brought back his games." FML
Today, I called my husband when his shift at work ended to talk about what we needed to do this weekend. He got angry and asked if he could have "five goddamn minutes" after work to get home and change before I started "throwing the fucking to do list at me." FML
Today, my mom tried to ground me, even though I moved into my own flat to escape her. I told her 'my flat, my rules' so she tried to confiscate my Xbox because 'she’s the boss of me.' The look on her face as the cops took her away was worth the shouting match we’ll have when she makes bail. FML
Today, my son came running in, saying he had a project due tomorrow. I asked when it was assigned; he said two weeks ago. I refused to help, saying that he failed to act responsibly and had to live with the consequences. Now he's throwing a tantrum and my wife is screaming at me. FML
Today, I refused to play with my brother because he always breaks my stuff. Mom brought him into my room to force us to play together. He tripped and spilled coke on my Xbox, which smoked then died. Mom just backed out of the room with him slowly, like, "I see what you mean, we'll leave you alone now." I hate him so much. FML
Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Today, my husband suddenly decided he was going to stop talking about all the changes he needed to make, and finally do them. That's great, except that in less than a day, he lost his shit at me and our young kids for not immediately fixing everything about ourselves as well. They're still sobbing and he doesn't care. FML
Today, my dad took away my Xbox because "You never do anything active." I had just run a 5K. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
FluffythePink 23
"When you start behaving like an adult and the other half of this partnership, we can talk like adults."
smoochmysnoot 6
Well you seem delightful. F his life.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (5)
smoochmysnoot 6
Well you seem delightful. F his life.
dreams2383 20
F his life. you are controlling and need therapy. do the to do list yourself.
GoogieWithers 25
He is an adult. It is up to him when he does his chores. If it annoys you, either don't give him chores or 'delay' your own chores like cooking or laundry.
FluffythePink 23
"When you start behaving like an adult and the other half of this partnership, we can talk like adults."
BurnInDemonFire 39
"Calm down, Stalin." he said, just after learning the word 'hyperbole'.