Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I cooked a romantic dinner for my partner to celebrate our five year anniversary. I spent hours preparing a snazzy meal. Just as we sat down to eat, I realized I had forgotten to turn off the oven, and our dessert was now a charred lump of coal. We only realised this when the fire alarm in the kitchen went off. FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
Today, I cooked dinner for the girl I've been dating. Everything was going well until I accidentally set off the smoke alarm. The fire department showed up, and my date spent the rest of the evening flirting with one of the firefighters, so I guess we weren't actually dating? FML
Today I visited my boyfriend's house for Thanksgiving. The fast food from the drive made me really need to poop, so I did my business and flipped on the air vent. Turns out the vent sparked a hot spot in the attic and caused a fire. I literally set my boyfriend's house on fire with my shit. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML
Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML
Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it was OK for both of us to leave the house with the oven on. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, I thought I would be cute for my one year anniversary with my girlfriend, so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML
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Top comments
beclaurela 18
Well at least you both are okay and a fire didn't start or anything. o.o
baconstrips 12
Cool story bro, tell it again.
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Comments (63)
LolFMLnot 10
This is one of those memories that suck at the moment but in the future they will make you laugh.
Sandsh8rk 36
I guess things got 'steamy' between you and your boyfriend.
landon_loe11 16
Pretty sure a fireplace releases smoke, not steam. Nice try at a really shitty pun though.
misterjez 15
I'm sure he helped unclog that little problem of yours.
Phoebe_Buffay 14
So, things got pretty heated with you two, huh.
hama806 19
Too bad you didn't have smoked salmon to go with the ambiance.
Albanic 7
memories!! lol!
ShyAnn29 15
That will be a fun memory for when you're married!
LaLince 40
You cooked, also the beginning was good. But please let the man lite the fire.
squideth 18
For one, learn some grammar and spelling please. Two, keep your sad gender roles to yourself.
SonOfAMitch 14
In this situation, my eyes would go ablaze and i would probably feel a little fired up. I guess I would try and fan it away, and wait for it to coal down. I mean, it's your life at stoke! Hopefully, OP's partner thought it was a hot gesture. I believe I'm on fire tonight!
Satoaoi 13
sad day