Today, I spent most of my daughter's 8th birthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was put in a cast. Apparently, my son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on their 8th birthday before encouraging her to find out by jumping off the slippery slide. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML
Today, my 12 year-old son came home with two broken arms after finding an awesome place to ride his bike. He found a sweet jump and his handlebars broke. He's currently in slings and waiting for an appointment with a surgeon, the breaks were so bad, the hospital couldn't reset them. FML
Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML
Today, I took my kids to an indoor playground. My two year-old wanted me to climb the rock wall and ring the bell. I slipped right when I was about to touch it. I landed wrong and felt a 'POP' and agony. Hello, broken ankle. FML
Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML
Today, it was my daughter's 11th birthday party. One kid broke a vase, another lost a (baby) tooth, and two kids, including mine, tested positive for Covid. My kid parties harder than I ever have. FML
Today, I bought my daughter a bunk bed. After spending several hours building it, she climbed up, then fainted. Turns out she's afraid of heights. FML
Today, I was at my 3 year-old niece's birthday party. I was swinging on their swing set when she walked directly into my path. I tried to jump off the swing, but I could not stop myself in time. I ended up kicking her in the face and giving her a black eye. Happy birthday! FML
Today, at school, I offered my friend $5 to climb up a tree and jump off. I was already having a hard day and just wanted a bit of a laugh. What I didn't expect was to end up in the hospital with a broken arm because my friend jumped on me. FML
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Top comments
Ishq786 12
'I believe I can fly...'
rkmn8r 6
yolo: you only land once
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Comments (47)
Ishq786 12
'I believe I can fly...'
K92 13
I think about it every night and day. Spread my wings and fly away ...
sens3sfailing 25
I believe I can soar...but I think the girl ran into a not open door...
yoyoforpeace 14
Lets be thankful that OP's daughter chose a slide as her first take off spot and not a balcony.
Joshmokahontas 6
Trolled at age 8. It begins
meagann01 4
Pulllll Uppppp *Cut the music*
thefmlman2011 37
dont sink, don't sink.
BigL99 20
Hmm well how about that.
Cian_1 28
Yes, what about it? Pray, do tell.
boofgall 16
A funny story far in the future :)
BigL99 20
Ah #20 if I'm not mistaken I see what you did there.
asherm 15
Fy daughter's life. Your son is mean
Trai 6
Yeah, I heard the same thing. Unfortunately I've gotta wait for my 21st birthday. Guess mine just came along a little bit later.
rkmn8r 6
yolo: you only land once
mistercrow 9
I think your children need counseling. ._.
untouchable763 10
What are big brothers for really other then this.
coolboy675 16
Sounds like your son's a ****. He'd be a real one if he could fly though.
sens3sfailing 25
Wait...your telling me cocks can fly? Mine is extremely unimpressive then if they are supposed to fly! And oh yeah, the world record for a chicken in flight is 13 seconds if that was what you were trying to say....so they still don't really "fly"
GingerNinja7 17
Wait, you don't?! I'd better correct my little brother before he kills himself, i say him walking with a ladder and an umbrella a few minutes after I told him this was true..
EpicSquishii 21
Troll brother wins this round