Today, my boss went out for a few hours. My coworkers saw this as an opportunity to take a 2 hour lunch without getting caught. I stayed at the office to answer the phone, while streaming videos which is a big no no. My boss came back early and caught me, they're all still taking lunch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss fired me for "fooling around" on my phone. I was looking for supplies for a surprise party we are throwing him for his birthday, and I didn't want to do it on my work computer because he has access to our history. Also, this happened during my lunch break. FML
Today, I snuck out of work 2 hours early. As I was speeding away so I wouldn't be seen, I rear-ended my boss as he was leaving the lower parking lot for a late lunch. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, I took a video of a fellow employee doing nothing but watching YouTube videos at work. When I showed the video to my boss, hoping he'd be reprimanded, I got fired for operating video equipment on company grounds. FML
Today, I finally caught the person who has now and again been stealing my lunch at work for weeks. It was my boss. I awkwardly watched him eat my sandwich while he talked about how he's been "saving money by bringing food from home." FML
Today, I sneaked off work early. As I was in the elevator on the way down to leave, it stopped at my boss's floor, and he got in. FML
Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML
Today, my boss called me while I was working from home to bitch me out over being away from my computer for 49 minutes, when my lunch break is only 45 minutes, thus wasting another 13 minutes. My boss is known for spending hours online gaming from home during work hours. FML
Today, a random customer at work admonished my coworker for being on her phone. During our lunch break. As he walked away, my coworker muttered, "What the fuck is his problem?" I nodded in agreement. He heard her and saw me nodding. As did our boss. Time to get written up. FML
Today, my boss sent a message to a coworker saying, "We're putting all of you back on the phones because one of you can't stop watching Netflix so corporate thinks you guys don't do anything." That person was me. Everyone's pissed at me now. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
And you're upset because you were the only one caught? You're just as bad as they are. The only difference is that you were dumb enough to get caught. If you're lucky enough to keep your job, then DO YOUR JOB, dumbass.
Marcelb 17
And what are the consequences for you? and the rest of the employees? guess your boss wasn't too happy with them either. Just rat them out and try to make yourself look better, lol
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Comments (107)
Marcelb 17
And what are the consequences for you? and the rest of the employees? guess your boss wasn't too happy with them either. Just rat them out and try to make yourself look better, lol
BahahahLOL 0
just stop.
bloodymatzaball 4
eww #1 get teeth whitener
mintcar 10
Stupied?
the_flirtt 0
snitches get stitches.
iTaylor 0
Snitches end up in ditches
gooBUZZ 0
Wow. Bad luck OP. Although, you deserve it 100%. If you're not doing your job, don't cry when you get caught. Good day, sir.
Selena_is_back 7
36, bitches end up in ditches.
mamamiaaa_fml 12
oh. you made a rhyme.
iliketurdles 7
bitches end up in bitches? ohh wait... wrong context.
Selena_is_back 7
lol 43, yes indeed.
youngclench 0
bitches lick fishes
the_flirtt 0
selena are you happy haha !!
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I want bitches in my britches (; But I got to a witch to make their love a sitch, but in the end my wishes drown with the fishes. I'm itchin to be hitchin a ride. for ditchin me now they twitchin if I pitch dis I'll never be rich which switch to stitch dat bitch. oh yeahhh that sucked :D
ygdrassil 17
Why is streaming videos such a problem? Kind of makes you wonder what kind of videos they were…
persianjr1 7
SPY GUIDE TO STAY EMPLOYED IN THIS SITUATION. STEP 1: Stay silent and knock out boss with keyboard. STEP 2:he wakes up and tell him he fell. STEP 3: tell him he walked in and hit his head on the desk and you hadnt been there he would of bled to deth and died. STEP 4:say that everyone else left and because you followed the rules, he is alive. STEP 5: Promotion :D
your_face 15
85 - I'd hope the OP would have enough sense not to stream certain kinds of video, but any video streaming is usually banned in a serious workplace. For one thing, you're supposed to be doing your job, not watching movies online. For another, I think it opens up a less secure connection, leaving your entire work network more vulnerable to viruses. Finally, the broadband it would take up would slow down the network, making it hard for anyone else to work. I know no one was there, but there are no exceptions. If the supervisors made one allowance they'd have to make more. OP, if you knew it was "a big no no," you shouldn't have done it. End of story. You really have to be pretty foolish to expect the "but everyone else broke the rules too" excuse to work.
4bidden 0
Dumb ass people these days taking advantage of their jobs...
tttiffany 0
#110 I SEE YOUR B( . Y . )BIES
DocBastard 40
And you're upset because you were the only one caught? You're just as bad as they are. The only difference is that you were dumb enough to get caught. If you're lucky enough to keep your job, then DO YOUR JOB, dumbass.
gooBUZZ 0
Agreed fully with Doc. Well said, sir.
mamamiaaa_fml 12
a little harsh there aren't we? not everyone was born smart mr bastard.
DocBastard 40
mamamiaaa - I didn't go to medical school for four years to be called "Mr. Bastard," thank you. And no, it wasn't harsh at all. It doesn't take smarts to know not to break the rules, it just takes morals and good judgment.
ohthebloodygore 16
I have to agree with Doc on this one. It wasn't harsh at all. OP is just an idiot.
FFML_314 12
Believe me, Doc knows about morals. He did a great moral service when he helped me go from a size A to a size DD. Thanks, Doc!
ohthebloodygore 16
Aria, plastic?
FFML_314 12
No, he just removed some fat from my ass. ;D
Trollz4daLULZ 2
Hey! OP was NOT being stupid! That boss just has it in for her, and the other employees are all conspiring to make her look even worse. None of this was her fault AT ALL. Except maybe for knowingly breaking the rules. And for splicing a comma in her FML. And for not being more careful. And for working someplace that had internet access. Oh, and for even having a job at all. But other than that, this is COMPLETELY not her fault!
mamamiaaa_fml 12
well mr bastard this is FML so your fancy smancy degree means nothing here bahahhahahhahahha. and rules were made to be broken. and the moral of the story issss.
FFML_314 12
His degree means everything here. Your stupidity, however, means less than nothing. Go away.
zp5 4
WTF? ^
FFML_314 12
zp5, he's a self-proclaimed, FFML_314 obsessed, chronic masturbating freak. Needless to say, we're in love.
zp5 4
thats me! :D
FFML_314 12
Keep up the good work.
DocBastard 40
FFML, you're quite welcome. Anything I can do to help. Trollzy, please don't get banned anymore. We need your anteater wisdom here. Gore, idiocy is your specialty. Last but least, Boners, you need help. Seriously, I'm worried about you, man.
FFML_314 12
OK, since you're in the helping mood; could you please take care of this rash?
DocBastard 40
I have to get this in before Boners recommends a certain cream to rub in... Rash remedy...rash remedy...ah, here it is. "Eye of newt, wing of bat, leg of frog, and one drop of troll blood." Hey, Boners! I need a drop of your blood, dude.
FFML_314 12
"I have to get this in before boners" Yes, I am laughing hysterically right now.
zp5 4
Yeah sure right here. Wait a minute...
maybaybe 0
I'll volunteer ;)
FFML_314 12
OC, you're strong. Believe in yourself a little more, pal. I mean, you did pull that stick from your ass. That had to be a chore. ;D
I_R_Genius 3
Boners, if you want an erection lasting more than a day, just get bit by a brazlian wandering spider, However, if erections last more then a day talk to Doc about it.
I_R_Genius 3
Brazilian sorry for not spelling it right. *Don't hate me :'(*
starile 20
Someone r not so genius anymore, eh, 95?
I_R_Genius 3
Like I said don't hate me :'(. I am very tired and it is very late here.
FYLDeep 26
It takes four years of medical school to work at a sex clinic? Must only be if you want the "Doc" title.
FFML_314 12
I think you're right, FYLdeep.
oliver86 8
FAYUL!!
BabesYourAStar 0
#3 you fail.
FFML_314 12
So do *you.
EEric_14 0
Well u got caught for a reason.
DncrHap 9
oooh. no-no, eh? if you were going to do a no-no, you should of masturbated in your boss' office. that way if you get caught, you'll at least get a happy ending.
Ninjafriends 1
Everything is just a little better with masturbation.
DncrHap 9
that is unbelievably true.
mintcar 10
Should'VE*
DncrHap 9
whoa. i never make that mistake. shit, son.
ohthebloodygore 16
Well now you did, idiot.
DncrHap 9
it appears so.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
CAT FIGHT!!!!!
DncrHap 9
hahaha, not quite. i would have to be bothered to fight back for that to be true.
starile 20
62, if I threw a 'roid-raging cat at you and splashed some chocolate pudding all over your body and sat back with a video camera, would you fight back then? :D
DncrHap 9
hm. i'd probably scream and run around for a while. then be all "WTF???" then lick myself clean. because chocolate pudding is wonderful.
omgshaylaaa 0
bloodygore is a bitch anyways so if I were you, I'd ignore his/her comments.
FFML_314 12
Why did you even bother putting in that random comma? It's also quite obvious that Ohthebloodgore is a girl. If that's not something you can figure out, you're an idiot, BUT I'm sure you already knew that. :D
DncrHap 9
oooh. i forgot how feisty the good folks of fml can be.
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
If you're going to fool around at work, you have to learn to be discreet. Or follow the crowd and do as your coworkers do.
Charlotteeexx 0
what do you do then? ;)
yumsugarr 8
huh. you should have just gone with them ;)
Ninjafriends 1
So, you committed a big no-no. That's just you screwing up. Stop pointing fingers. The FML is really about how your coworkers didn't want to have lunch with you.
yummycupcakegirl 0
tell your boss about them.
DocBastard 40
Yeah, because there's nothing a boss likes more than a suck-up tattle tale who rats out her coworkers in an attempt to deflect taking responsibility for her own mistake. Right.
your_face 15
And clearly the boss is too blind to see for him- or herself that everyone else is gone. That's not the kind of thing one would notice without being told.
i_luv_dogs 10
They're probably gonna get into trouble when they come back. Their boss can't be that stupid. Right?