Today, my boss showed us a small picture of his family on his phone. Jokingly, I commented on how the orange shirt he was wearing reminded me of a big pumpkin. He wasn't wearing an orange shirt. His wife was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw an employee showing off a picture on his phone. I couldn't quite see what it was and tried to inject myself in to the conversation. "Whatcha got there, a cow?" It wasn't. It was a photo of his wife, posing in her wedding dress for the first time since their wedding day several years and children ago. FML
Today, when I arrived at work, I was greeted by my gorgeous coworker telling me my red shirt looked awesome on me. Before I could compliment her, she added that the color was fitting perfectly with my acne. I heard a couple of giggles around me. FML
Today, I greeted my boss with, "Looking good, did you lose weight?" He responded that no, he'd just purchased larger pants. FML
Today, my boss walked in and said something I didn't quite hear, but my co-worker chuckled so to be polite, I laughed with him. They gave me some weird looks. My boss was actually talking about his wife's tumor and my co-worker was coughing. FML
Today, I walked into our office and everyone started laughing. It turns out that I'd been the only one not in on the joke to come in dressed as a character from our favorite TV show. However, I'd dressed in normal work clothes. I’m the boss. FML
Today, a relative showed me a picture of her phone. I also saw a picture of her husband, a friend, sleeping. He looked like he was dead to the world. I asked, jokingly, "Why is there a picture of a dead guy on your phone?" Turns out it was her father, who is in the hospital, and dying any day now. FML
Today, I tried to show my boss a funny photo on my phone. As I handed it over, a notification popped up from my mom that said, “Did you finally meet a nice boy or are you still feral?” FML
Today, I saw my male boss holding a purse. Just to be a smart ass, I made fun of him as if the purse was his. It was his. FML
Today, my boss hung a dartboard in his office. It has a printout of my employee photo taped to it. FML
Today, I went to a Halloween party with people from work. As the night passed, my boss got hammered and started throwing food at people. It was fun and games until I accidentally spilled his tenth beer. His response? To slam a hollowed out pumpkin full of chocolate mousse over my head. FML
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Top comments
NoobHat 6
I really hope you had a Twix.
FYLDeep 26
Jack-o-ass!
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Comments (56)
Michael_92 20
"Your fired"
Androidz 0
15, you are my grammatical savior.
Michael_92 20
Yes yes I messed up sorry. Its 6:25AM and I haven't slept.
RussianFox 13
It's a common mistake, relax
Michael_92 20
I hate to seem rude but isn't being stupid make you stupid? I may not know all grammar but honestly it was a mistake. I know the difference between your you're. Their they're there too to two. I know all the positions of commas when to use colons semicolons and all that. I do mess them up though. Doesn't change that I don't know what they are. I am writing a comment on a fml post, not a business letter to my bank.
elisabeth1_fml 0
I also think it is important not to put people down and make them feel like they have inferior schooling. Yes it is important to be able to spell correctly but it's also important to treat each other with kindness. I have excellent grammar whereas a lot of my friends are lacking in that area. Will I correct them , no because I just do not think its that important in the grand scheme of things. If you want to correct peoples grammar become a teacher and educate them.
dyble95 0
If someone was never taught how to spell something right or has an inferior memory, does that make then stupid or less intelligent? Information is not what makes some one smart. Its what you do with the information you have that shows if your smart or not. There's nothing wrong with correcting some one but it is completely pointless and very rude to be derogatory about it. Also can some one really help it if they are stupid? I mean we are born with are brains and it not like we choose how smart we are.
Michael_92 20
Haha I agree with the guy above but seriously I can spell fairly will. I also know all them simple things...it was seriously just a brain fart. Oh well time to go put the new alternator on the truck and them code a game...the weird messed up life of me. Then after that I have to install windows 8 on a dev computer. Just can't win lol.
eastsideLVc 0
ur ur ur ur
MisterEx 28
Claim GBS. Gender Blind Syndrome.
ikickgingers 15
Stick with the "awww" it works on here?
Joanlysn 0
Then you should've added "It must be halloween for you everyday cause you probably carve that shit up!"
AngryBlckMan13 2
I wouldn't describe it as being a "Grammar Nazi." More like an annoying buzzing fly that won't go away >:[ #angryblckman
mixmaster647 2
Were u fired??
leadman1989 16
Dude looks like a lady, dun dunt dun dunt Or She's a macho macho man I need help lots and lots of help.
ikickgingers 15
... And leadman reappears.
leadman1989 16
Yup, me and my horrible grammer and esoteric but childish references are back. Everybody gay!
toricakes 7
Oouuucch fyl
perdix 31
"Ha, you're married to that? Someone who looks like that usually isn't into dudes."
perdix 31
I don't see how that "joke" would have been "funny" even if your boss was wearing the orange shirt. You need a class in humor in the workplace. "and" "I" "need" "to" "cool" "it" "with" "the" "quote" "marks."