Today, my boss showed us a small picture of his family on his phone. Jokingly, I commented on how the orange shirt he was wearing reminded me of a big pumpkin. He wasn't wearing an orange shirt. His wife was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw an employee showing off a picture on his phone. I couldn't quite see what it was and tried to inject myself in to the conversation. "Whatcha got there, a cow?" It wasn't. It was a photo of his wife, posing in her wedding dress for the first time since their wedding day several years and children ago. FML
Today, when I arrived at work, I was greeted by my gorgeous coworker telling me my red shirt looked awesome on me. Before I could compliment her, she added that the color was fitting perfectly with my acne. I heard a couple of giggles around me. FML
Today, I greeted my boss with, "Looking good, did you lose weight?" He responded that no, he'd just purchased larger pants. FML
Today, my boss walked in and said something I didn't quite hear, but my co-worker chuckled so to be polite, I laughed with him. They gave me some weird looks. My boss was actually talking about his wife's tumor and my co-worker was coughing. FML
Today, I walked into our office and everyone started laughing. It turns out that I'd been the only one not in on the joke to come in dressed as a character from our favorite TV show. However, I'd dressed in normal work clothes. I’m the boss. FML
Today, a relative showed me a picture of her phone. I also saw a picture of her husband, a friend, sleeping. He looked like he was dead to the world. I asked, jokingly, "Why is there a picture of a dead guy on your phone?" Turns out it was her father, who is in the hospital, and dying any day now. FML
Today, I tried to show my boss a funny photo on my phone. As I handed it over, a notification popped up from my mom that said, “Did you finally meet a nice boy or are you still feral?” FML
Today, I saw my male boss holding a purse. Just to be a smart ass, I made fun of him as if the purse was his. It was his. FML
Today, my boss hung a dartboard in his office. It has a printout of my employee photo taped to it. FML
Today, I went to a Halloween party with people from work. As the night passed, my boss got hammered and started throwing food at people. It was fun and games until I accidentally spilled his tenth beer. His response? To slam a hollowed out pumpkin full of chocolate mousse over my head. FML
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Top comments
NoobHat 6
I really hope you had a Twix.
FYLDeep 26
Jack-o-ass!
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Comments (56)
CalhounBoy 0
Insert foot in mouth....NOW
Shleebs 12
Those are the kind of comments you should keep to yourself. Why would you think it would be funny to tell your boss that he resembles a pumpkin? Especially if he is overweight, I couldn't see that scenario going over successfully.
you_freak 7
It happens to the best of us
PeppaParis 14
Don't talk to your boss about personal things - ever - you always tend to say the wrong thing (>.
wriptidez 0
oops
Azrael9 11
Should have just nodded your head and said "nice picture" and left it at that.
4rmMiami 4
Ouch, here comes the great pumpkin OP!
syraxthered 5
Could've easily followed it up with, "Oh sorry, it's just that whenever I see clothing that is orange, my mind immediately goes to pumpkins and pumpkin pie, love pumpkin pie."
Fruit_Dealer 9
Prosopagnosia. Google that up it's actually a real thing.
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
You'd be lucky if you didn't get fired.