Today, my boss found out that my girlfriend dumped me. He asked if that meant she would no longer bring her delicious homemade cookies to the office. When I said yes, he fired me on the spot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my girlfriend came to my workplace to tell me she was breaking up with me. My boss, who was passing by, fired me for "chatting with friends" during work hours. FML
Today, my boss fired me because his girlfriend wanted the job I had. She has no experience whatsoever in my line of work, it was just his "anniversary present" for her. FML
Double blow
Today, I was driving to work and I got a text from my girlfriend. She said she was breaking up with me. I was a little heartbroken, but I had to get on with my day. I got to work and my boss fired me. Turns out, my boss and girlfriend have been having an affair and she told him to fire me. FML
Today, I was fired from a managerial position I've held for two years due to "inappropriate relations with a subordinate": I was dating a coworker. My girlfriend then broke up with me four hours later. Because I no longer had a job. I hired her. FML
Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML
Today, my boss decided our 4 year relationship was unethical, so she broke up with me, then terminated my employment. FML
Today, my boyfriend was fired. After breaking the news, he also broke up with me. Apparently, his boss had a creepy crush on me and would give my boyfriend bonuses for bringing me to company events and, occasionally, out on the boss's personal boat. Looks like I am no longer useful. FML
Today, my boss fired me by locking me out of my workplace after I went out to throw out the trash. FML
The ruling class wins again
Today, someone had been stealing my brownie at work every day, so I sprinkled cocolax on one and waited to find out who the culprit was. Turns out it was my manager. Needless to say, I'm fired. FML
Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML
Top comments
EmilyJane718 12
Sounds like your boss is a dick.
Mauskau 36
Is that even legal?
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Comments (149)
Gittoh 21
learn how to make coockies! it always lightens up your cv !
BeepBeepSwerve 9
i don't think op wants to learn how to make cockies
kmccain 27
@90 your pic matches your comment perfectly.
Anamalak 10
Sounds like it's time for a lawsuit for wrongful termination...
skatoolaki 24
If it's a right to work state, the boss is within legal rights to fire a person for any reason (or none at all - boss could do it on a whim if he/she wanted).
phew_fml 21
Wow, talking about ******* people over.
valentinov 15
So... In a way... Your girlfriend was working at your job, but you were getting the paycheck... On the other hand... How good were the cookies, if your boss kept you hired despite you being useless? The best part is that now you have the "opportunity" to find a job where you're appreciated, not the cooking skills of your ex. :))
annie_nk 23
Man, talk about adding insult to injury. What a dick.
Enslaved 38
"I did it all for the *cookie C'mon The *cookie C'mon So you can take that cookie And stick it up your, yeah!!"
whatx2 10
That's horrible. I don't think he can fire you for that.
IllestRated 17
You could file a lawsuit for wrongful termination. Just a thought.
AllisonMarie91 3
So instead of finding another job it makes sense to potentially bankrupt a small business and then everyone gets fired......
saidoh_fml 26
How do we know op was working for a small business?
AllisonMarie91 3
Lol that's why I said potentially.... Plus if his boss has no one that he has to report to, which would make sense if he really did fire him on the spot, then it's likely to be a smaller business.
Joesyy 6
What the...?! Must be cookies made of rainbows and kitten smiles
cakefete2 31
The bit about kitten smiles made my day.
kmccain 27
It just made me picture a bunch of kittens without mouths.
skeptic54 8
I am the 1000th "I agree your life sucks". Ask me anything.
kenoswild 14
this is not reddit....
traumamedic3 9
I've heard of milkshakes bringing boys to the yard, but never cookies keeping someone's ass in a job. It's a 1st