Today, my boyfriend asked me to try humming during a blow job. He seemed to like it at first, but apparently, "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan wasn't a good choice. He still isn't speaking to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
Today, my boyfriend was having a really bad day, so I decided to call him and try to calm him down. At one point, I thought it would be sweet to sing him a song since he claimed to love my voice. Before I could get half way through, he told me to shut up because I was getting on his nerves and just making things worse. FML
Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML
Today, while giving my boyfriend what I thought was an amazing blow job, he asked me if I'd seen Kung Fu Panda 3 yet. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
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Top comments
PhantomCrevan 8
There could have been worse choices. Like "It's a Small World," or "Macarena."
Allie614032 34
Oh, come on. He should be able to take a joke. At least he got a ******** out of it.
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Comments (20)
ThatGuy9679 13
That's gold. Honor on you, honor on your cow
thatslifeiguess7 16
Turn on Im turning Japanese and throw lotion at him
Rebecca Mack 7
Just tell me you weren't watching mulan at the time...
worldclassrager 41
I laughed way too hard at this... Maybe a whole new world would have been better
Thundernutz 15
Lol well to him you likely implying that he wasn't a "man" or "man enough" for you xD. I feel like there is more to this than you are saying.
CoyoteOldOne 17
I don't care if you were humming the theme to Sesame Street during a hummer. He got a ********. Next time he's giving himself a ********, he can pick the song.
David Horgan 8
Think you both need to break up and date other men
Stefany Baillargeon 9
NAILED IT