Today, my 5 year old daughter told me that I needed to stay 50 feet away from her at all times when we were at school, mostly because I didn't hang with the cool parents. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter told me she would rather hang herself than hang out with me. All I did was remind her to go to bed at a reasonable time to get some sleep for an activity she likes doing. FML
Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML
Today, my youngest daughter was going through separation anxiety when I dropped her off at school. After ten minutes of me comforting her, the teacher said, "C'mon, you have to let Nan go now so you can join in with the class." Ummm, I'm her mum, not her grandparent. FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML
Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML
Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I said to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said, "Mommy, I don't want to leave." She wasn't talking to me. FML
Today, my kids are mad I won’t let them hang out at the “cool” parents house. You know, the house with no rules. I’ve heard way too many horror stories, too many true crime documentaries, plus personal experience, to ever let that happen. I will never EVER trust adults that like to party with kids. FML
Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML
Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML
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Top comments
tigerlilypop 7
Well shit, go chill with them cool parents.
xlorawrz 9
And she's only five? Imagine the teenage years.
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Comments (147)
xrainbowshadowx 17
Wow I remember when I was five, I thought my parents were the coolest. Ahh, she's probably just going through a stage. Give it a bit of time, and she'll think you're the coolest!
RetardedChipmunk 7
Yeah, I'm living proof. In 5-year-old terms I was a pretty bad kid. But now I don't rebel at all. It depends on the person I think.
Enigmax2514 7
Sigh societal and peer pressure are even affecting the little ones now. F the world's life
skyttlz 32
Ya when I was 8 and 9 I was mean. Now I'm 17 and I'm super nice even to people I dislike.
skyttlz 32
Ya when I was 8 and 9 I was mean. Now I'm 17 and I'm super nice even to people I dislike.
catharsis5 9
Just say that you're too cool for them. She's at that age when she's figuring things out, the rules of society, that girls are supposed to like pink and boys like blue.
PeppaParis 14
LOL, epic fail!
Darklord53 0
Ah I remember when I was five. My mom walked me in the door of kindergarten, waiting for about 3 minutes with me, then said she was going outside to smoke, and then the bitch didn't come back until school was over. That's probably why I'm 14, wear all black, listen to death metal, hate god, and cuss like a sailor. Oh well
satomi_ishida 0
You should consider yourself lucky she took you to school. Some kids lose their parent's young or get abandoned by them. Many parent's abuse their kids or neglect them. But you're still young and have yet to see everything about life. Thank your mom for caring to be there for you.
ProhibitionRose 14
Blaming your parents for you rebelling is stupid. Your mom took you to school, what more did you want? Her told hold your hand throughout the day? If your parents/mom is the reason you listen to death metal, thank her for introducing you to awesome music and stop crying to complete strangers about how terrible your life is.
thiscrazything 1
U say you're 14, but you're born in 91? and you're FML s are truthful? Hmm... Something doesn't add up here. Anyway, be glad she walked you to school, I am sure she did the best she could, maybe you should try to be a little more grateful, as you will see things much differently you mature. Good luck to you, and remember you might not think she is the best, but she is the only one you'Ve got, and once she's gone, you can never go back.
R00ST3R 12
Don't insult the metal.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
You guys...You ever think this was just sarcasm? I would have thought the "didn't come back until school was over" part would surely give it away. That would also explain the inconsistency of the age in the post and the one in his profile, so even if you were debating whether this is sarcastic or not, that should have tipped you over the sarcastic side of the fence.
manbearpig7173 0
Joking or not, theres nothing wrong with death metal...
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I didn't see anyone say that, 104. So much sarcasm is lost on some of you here. I guess people just like to believe.
xcarxcrashx 9
I am starting to hate coming on here strictly due to the fact that people are so stupid when it comes to sarcasm.
Sirin_fml 47
But then all my own comments would be drowning in red, and all the sarcasm-blind kids would scream communism, and I'd start listening to Joe Rogan standup in self-hatred. It's just not worth it, Emin— sorry, Island dude.
Mekeritrig 15
If my kid cared so much about appearance, I'd consider myself failing at parenting.
ScarletBloom 14
What's the definition of "cool" from a 5 years old kid?