Today, my 5 year old daughter told me that I needed to stay 50 feet away from her at all times when we were at school, mostly because I didn't hang with the cool parents. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter told me she would rather hang herself than hang out with me. All I did was remind her to go to bed at a reasonable time to get some sleep for an activity she likes doing. FML
Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML
Today, my youngest daughter was going through separation anxiety when I dropped her off at school. After ten minutes of me comforting her, the teacher said, "C'mon, you have to let Nan go now so you can join in with the class." Ummm, I'm her mum, not her grandparent. FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML
Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML
Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I said to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said, "Mommy, I don't want to leave." She wasn't talking to me. FML
Today, my kids are mad I won’t let them hang out at the “cool” parents house. You know, the house with no rules. I’ve heard way too many horror stories, too many true crime documentaries, plus personal experience, to ever let that happen. I will never EVER trust adults that like to party with kids. FML
Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML
Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tigerlilypop 7
Well shit, go chill with them cool parents.
xlorawrz 9
And she's only five? Imagine the teenage years.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (147)
hellokitty76 1
tell her ok , and that u gonna adopt a lil girl that does appreciate having a mom taking her to school ... n it doesn't matter to her how cool or not her new mommy is .. she just happy to have one ... better straighten her up now , it might sound cute now , but not so much later
hellokitty76 1
tell her you going to exchange her with another lil girl ... dat isn't ashamed of you ... it might sound cute now , but later on it b more hurtful ..
fatalwish 6
And thats when in front of her friends id tell her shes adopted and i never loved her good luck getting over that mind **** for the next 10 years
FarSide 23
I like your humor. Why make 'em laugh for a few seconds when you can **** with their mind for 20 years? LOL.
UrLyfSuxx 0
Share your animal crackers & tell them how Blue's Clues is so overrated. Then you'll be cool.
mpclaw 3
Well she's right. Make good choices!
Country29 16
Well you should try hangin with the cool parents then.
bannedforlife 0
Stop feeding her 'til she gets her priorites straight.
cruzing619 0
Um how do I messag ppl on this ?
badactor009 0
Why is everyone concerned about some 5 year old kids opinion? The fact that you posted this indicates the "child" already took over way back when. Get a grip and gain some perspective on the situation. So, your next post will be about your Pomeranian's opinion?
TheDifferent 0
Ahahaha Thats so horrible but funny