Today, my 5 year old daughter told me that I needed to stay 50 feet away from her at all times when we were at school, mostly because I didn't hang with the cool parents. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Teenagers, amirite?
Today, my daughter told me she would rather hang herself than hang out with me. All I did was remind her to go to bed at a reasonable time to get some sleep for an activity she likes doing. FML
Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML
Sweetie
Today, my youngest daughter was going through separation anxiety when I dropped her off at school. After ten minutes of me comforting her, the teacher said, "C'mon, you have to let Nan go now so you can join in with the class." Ummm, I'm her mum, not her grandparent. FML
Whack-a-Mole
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
The Headmaster Ritual
Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML
Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML
Betrayal
Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I said to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said, "Mommy, I don't want to leave." She wasn't talking to me. FML
Quite reasonable
Today, my kids are mad I won’t let them hang out at the “cool” parents house. You know, the house with no rules. I’ve heard way too many horror stories, too many true crime documentaries, plus personal experience, to ever let that happen. I will never EVER trust adults that like to party with kids. FML
Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML
Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML
Top comments
tigerlilypop 7
Well shit, go chill with them cool parents.
xlorawrz 9
And she's only five? Imagine the teenage years.
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Comments (147)
A100893 30
Tell her to stay 100 feet away from you because she doesn't hang out with the "cool" kids. Cool is relative anyways. Fill her lunch box with ice cubes and see if that's cool enough.
slushpup9696 12
That's just cold, man.
wriptidez 0
amen
smurfsarwales 9
that guy has a heart of ice
A100893 30
I am female.
leadman1989 16
I would SAY that I was gonna go along with it and then do the most embarrassing thing possible. *Hey EVERYONE this is MY DAUGHTER her name is Terry but everyone calls ger butt cheeks because her cheeks are so precious. She loves ponies, and rainbows and kisses! *kiss her leave Cause I'm the BHAUSS
cIickhere 5
Slap her
ProhibitionRose 14
Hah! Then CPS would get involved and it turns into a huge thing because parents are no longer allowed to spank their children let alone slap them without the CPS getting involved
R00ST3R 12
Dude she's five.
itschrisssybro 8
Dude, how about her and the kid slapping you?
panvicka 16
you are gonna have a really hard time when she is 15
shazza26 1
You must have one cool daughter ;)
Palirose 22
I doubt she will be really bad when she's older. Just make her understand now that it's not about popularity. Plus she's only 5. Kids change.
purple91 8
what a little c*nt
wriptidez 0
not good use of vocab when speaking of someone under 18
holeyman 8
That little girl is definately a ****
writergirl23 19
Ppl who say they r very nice often are not. You might wanna watch the arrogance ppl see right through it.
droxd923 0
You fail at parenting then if you are crying about it on here lol
KushMastaDisasta 3
52- You might want to use legitimate words. My IQ just dropped a point or two. Translation: u mite want 2 use wordz tht u can find in tha dictionary.