Today, my 5 year old daughter told me that I needed to stay 50 feet away from her at all times when we were at school, mostly because I didn't hang with the cool parents. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Teenagers, amirite?
Today, my daughter told me she would rather hang herself than hang out with me. All I did was remind her to go to bed at a reasonable time to get some sleep for an activity she likes doing. FML
Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML
Sweetie
Today, my youngest daughter was going through separation anxiety when I dropped her off at school. After ten minutes of me comforting her, the teacher said, "C'mon, you have to let Nan go now so you can join in with the class." Ummm, I'm her mum, not her grandparent. FML
Whack-a-Mole
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
The Headmaster Ritual
Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML
Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML
Betrayal
Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I said to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said, "Mommy, I don't want to leave." She wasn't talking to me. FML
Quite reasonable
Today, my kids are mad I won’t let them hang out at the “cool” parents house. You know, the house with no rules. I’ve heard way too many horror stories, too many true crime documentaries, plus personal experience, to ever let that happen. I will never EVER trust adults that like to party with kids. FML
Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML
Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML
Top comments
tigerlilypop 7
Well shit, go chill with them cool parents.
xlorawrz 9
And she's only five? Imagine the teenage years.
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Comments (147)
Beck2209 0
You should totally embarrass her at school. You know, for a good impression.
mintcar 10
What makes them cool? I don't get it.
fillmorejacob 0
GO KID
fatraptorjesus13 9
l ?
Mourningstar 4
Hey, be fair. She has a 5 year old rep to maintain! Lol
1000waystofml 0
Stop being a loser
Ciraxas 7
That's completely normal, don't worry. In fact, starting that at age 5 is a sign of intelligence and independence. The serious negative consequence of that could be her becoming overly self-conscious, so make sure to assure her that she is great how she is. Just don't let it get out of hand. Sources: parenting 5 children
Suekoff16 3
Give it a rest 60. This isn't a term paper that people are writing on these boards. If I wanna write a funny comment, I'll write it however I feel like it
rogueprincess69 0
Lose her like kyron horman
AShadowSoul 1
Well at least she's got priorities