Today, my 5 year old daughter figured out how to use the microwave, microwaving my brand new 3G iphone. It was completely wrecked. So was the microwave. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I left my daughter with a babysitter for the first time. When I came home, my microwave was ruined because they had attempted to heat cans of Play-Doh as a science experiment. FML
Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML
Today, my 5-year-old son put my car keys in the microwave thinking that they would 'warm up' my car. FML
Today, I found my daughter's brand new ipod touch. At the bottom of the washing machine. FML
Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML
Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML
Today, my 3 year old kid wanted to do something nice. I told him he could pick up some of his toys. He washed my new Iphone instead. FML
Today, I dropped my 400 dollar iphone, that's been through toilets and 6 foot falls, on a walmart floor and shattered the screen. I managed, however, to catch the 2 dollar macaroni and cheese before it hit the ground. FML
Today, my history teacher confiscated my iPhone. She dropped it on the way back to her desk, and I now have a shattered iPhone screen to fix. FML
Today, I woke up after putting my child to bed. Drowsy, I stumbled down to the kitchen to make a mug cookie. I read a recipe on my phone, and put a knob of butter in a cup to melt in the microwave. I put my phone in the microwave and turned it on for 30 seconds, and didn't realize what I'd done until I smelt burning plastic. FML
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Top comments
jchansfan 0
Wanna destroy your microwave!?! There's an app for that. =)
V8pwrdz28 0
hope you dont have any small pets.
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Comments (80)
jillz 0
Five year old people usually know better. At least she's alright. Too bad about the iPhone though. :(
BellaMuerte_fml 0
Children are demons. Dressed in cute little disguises. That's why there's Halloween, kids get to take off their cute costumes and show themselves for the devils they are! [:
DamienTheRabbit 0
More like a parenting fail. An expensive phone and a microwave (dangerous, by the way) in the reach of a five-year-old? YDI.
Melisaaaa 0
Whats with all the 'Why were the items in reach of a 5 year old' questions? How many children have you been around? If a child wants something they'll figure out a way to reach it including toddlers. They climb, its what they're good at.
Taravampire 0
So true.
diamondshark 0
I literally can't think of anything worse than this.... lol.
besad_fml 0
when I was five and I couldn't get something, i would climb on the counter or on a chair.
flylikemusic 0
I bet if you hadn't underestimated her intelligence and explained to her what a microwave does and how it works and set some rules this wouldn't have happened. YDI.
feari_princess 0
spank her. take away tv until the iphone and microwave are paid for, then the little shit will think twice about microwaving daddy's stuff.
americayay 0
Spanking is proven not to work by any reputable child psychologists, because it is preferable to the child over REAL punishment and is just laziness on the parent's part. And taking away T.V., which she shouldn't be watching much of anyway, for that period of time would have no effect after more than a few days when she forgets what she's done and no longer relates the two. It would be the equivalent of just getting rid of the T.V. and she'd find other, healthier ways to amuse herself. The absolute most he could do and it still be effective and not extreme is take away a few choice privelages, such as T.V. or going to a birthday party, or even trick-or-treating. Because she's 5. She doesn't realize the gravity of microwaving an iPhone over a garage sale Barbie doll. Coupling REAL punishment with spanking makes the spanking obselete OR just an outlet for OP's anger in the form of hitting his daughter.
MiseryMan 0
Yeah, spanking should only be used on girlfriends. ;)
myballs 0
Oi, what is it with you liberal ******* that are so against punishing children? Do you want to them go running around with no ******* authority and no concept of right and wrong? I don't fancy the idea of a bunch of thugs doing whatever they want because their parents couldn't ******* teach them anything.
shostakovich 0
Haha, don't you just love it when politics comes into play in unrelated matters?
americayay 0
Well, clearly you didn't read it very carefully. It said that spanking is INEFFECTIVE punishment. There are punishments far more effective than spanking, but parents are too lazy or too stupid to use them. And most "thugs" come from abusive homes. I can't wait to see what your children contribute to the world. We "liberal *******" have just taken child development courses instead of making assumptions that spanking works based on nothing. And your daddy hitting you doesn't count as research.
americayay 0
If it helps to rephrase, a spanking is over immediately and therefore preferable to a lasting punishment like taking away a privelage of some sort. Spanking HARDER is just abuse. Coupling a spanking with real and lasting punishment is just kind of pointless and brings in the negative aspects of spanking, like teaching your children to hit, but makes more sense than spanking alone.
lady_unknown 0
What? You're worried about your iPhone than your daughter getting hurt? iPhone explode if it overheats… let alone being microwave. YDI! You need to get your parenting skills check though.
Avenging_Angel 0
Guess it wasn't a good idea to microwave it :)