Today, my husband and I mutually discovered that we are both infected with pubic lice. How? I found his and he found mine while we were in the middle of 69-ing each other. So, so gross. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I are so close that we share everything. This now includes his head lice. Thanks, dude. FML
Today, I had to face up to telling the cute guy I just split up with that I have also probably given him pubic lice. FML
Today, I realized that the most romantic thing that my boyfriend and I have done in the last month is comb lice out of each other's hair. FML
Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML
Today, my husband returned from a hiking trip. We had "I missed you" sex and after we were done, he told me about all the ticks he had while on the trail. He then went to shower and while washing, he found a tick latched to his penis. I technically had a three way. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, I have lice. The dog we rescued infested our house. No amount of showering has made me feel clean, and my bald husband just doesn't understand why I'm so bothered. FML
Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding out that our cat has worms. He and I were in the middle of sharing a romantic shower following something of a dry spell when he bent over, spread his cheeks apart and asked, in earnest, "is there a worm sticking out of my ass?" FML
Today, I discovered that I have caught head lice from my son. Unfortunately, they are living in my chest hair. FML
Today, I discovered that my husband doesn't wash his hands after using the toilet. Too bad I got to found out after three years of marriage, and while his finger was in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
azouwa 26
Grab some lemon and tarter sauce. Crab legs on the menu tonight!!
samomaha 17
Just shaving won't get rid of lice. Nits (louse eggs) can attach to the hair shaft slightly below the skin level where a razor won't remove them. The eggs can also fall off the hair shaft or the hair can fall out, leaving viable nits in your bed, clothing, towels, etc. You need to use a delousing cream or shampoo along with a nitcomb. Also, wash bedding, towels, clothing (especially underwear), and anything similar that you came in contact with since at least two days before infestation in the hottest water possible and dry on high heat. Anything that cannot be washed should be dry-cleaned or stored in sealed plastic bags or airtight containers for at least two weeks to kill lice that hatch from nits. After a period of 10 days, repeat this procedure as not all of the nits will be caught. A third treatment might be necessary after another 10 day period, although it is rare. Good luck, OP.
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Comments (23)
azouwa 26
Grab some lemon and tarter sauce. Crab legs on the menu tonight!!
RichardPencil 32
That’s lousy!
ajh1800 25
While that's definitely gross, there's luckily an easy solution for it. Just shave.
RichardPencil 32
Everything about this story sucks.
crudeandrudeguy 29
How dare they drag the good Krabby Patty name into this
Davros 12
Well this would make an amusing life shampoo commercial.
Davros 12
LICE not life lol.
Lobby_Bee 18
Hmmm, I need to use that. "uhhh, I'm just checking for pubic lice". "trust me it works, I read it on FML".
samomaha 17
Just shaving won't get rid of lice. Nits (louse eggs) can attach to the hair shaft slightly below the skin level where a razor won't remove them. The eggs can also fall off the hair shaft or the hair can fall out, leaving viable nits in your bed, clothing, towels, etc. You need to use a delousing cream or shampoo along with a nitcomb. Also, wash bedding, towels, clothing (especially underwear), and anything similar that you came in contact with since at least two days before infestation in the hottest water possible and dry on high heat. Anything that cannot be washed should be dry-cleaned or stored in sealed plastic bags or airtight containers for at least two weeks to kill lice that hatch from nits. After a period of 10 days, repeat this procedure as not all of the nits will be caught. A third treatment might be necessary after another 10 day period, although it is rare. Good luck, OP.
ThrottleJockey 36
Because knowledge is power!
Jr Malvitz 15
i think they had multiple problems with lice
DanielleinDC 34
A better question: How did you get infected with this? It's usually spread by sexual contact.
BDove 17
...really dude?
Julz1021 12
out withu poop. wn
AdeenCuffing 12
It's called crabs...