Today, I stubbed my toe, and as I was hopping about clutching my toe and swearing like a drunken sailor, I turned and saw my boss, our CEO and pretty much the entire board of directors through the boardroom's open door. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML
Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML
Today, I called into work because I was too tired to keep my eyes open. My boss berated me over the phone, saying I should be more like that other employee who came in with a broken toe. That was me. FML
Today, I woke up really out of it, and as I was walking into the kitchen, I stubbed my toe on a tile. I sat down, then got up and stubbed the same toe against the table, went over to the kitchen and stubbed the same toe on the same tile again. FML
Today, I broke my toe. After telling my friend about it, he promptly stomped on it to "see what my reaction would be." FML
Today, I had a meeting at work with my board of directors for a potential promotion. When one of them told a joke, I politely let out an amused snort. Then, I noticed my director's white shirt and tie covered in red splatter. I nose bled all over the director of my company. FML
Today, at work, the most handsome guy walked in. Starstruck, I went to greet him and then take him to the owner's office, only to promptly walk really hard into the corner of the door frame, smacking my forehead. I have a massive bruise and my boss won't stop laughing. FML
Today, I walked into the glass door of my boss’s cabin and broke my spectacles. Thank god for a backup pair, right? Wrong. I fell down the stairs and broke them too. FML
Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML
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Top comments
Sheogorath 4
They know how it feels to stub their toe, if they have any sympathy. But maybe try to tone it down at work lol.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Natural reflex action. Like sneezing.
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Comments (3)
Sheogorath 4
They know how it feels to stub their toe, if they have any sympathy. But maybe try to tone it down at work lol.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Natural reflex action. Like sneezing.
RichardPencil 32
And they immediately hired you to headline the company comedy night. It’s always those stuck-up corporate types who are the most into filthy humor.