Today, my flatmate took his hour plus long shower while we both tried to get ready for work. I had a choice to wet myself or pee in a cooking pot. I chose the pot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML
Today, we had to turn the water off due to a massive leak in the kitchen sink that the plumber was currently fixing. I managed to wait two hours before my uncooperative digestive tract said it couldn't wait any longer and I had to take a mega dump in the bathroom. I couldn't flush the toilet or wash my hands. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, thanks to my habit of peeing in the shower, I accidentally peed in the bath. FML
Today, I purposefully spilt my 44oz. cup of water on myself at work, because spending the rest of the day in soaking wet pants was less embarrassing than letting people know I'd pissed myself. FML
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
Today, my partner took a shower while in the middle of cooking something. My eyes are still burning from the smoke. FML
Today, I had a planned 12-hour power cut for maintenance work, which I'd forgot all about. In need of a shower before work, I spent 45 minutes boiling pots of water on the stove to take a lukewarm, 6-inch deep bath, before realizing my water heater runs on natural gas and was working fine. FML
Today, I really had to pee while babysitting. Normally this isn't a problem, except the kids were sleeping and going potty would wake them up right before their parents were due home. Desperate, I decided to pee in a cup in the kitchen and wash it down the sink. Their parents came home mid-stream. FML
Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML
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Top comments
TabooSushi 24
Sounds like it's time to talk about shower time and what's an appropriate length when you only have one toilet in the house. At the very least, he should ask if you have to use the toilet before he takes the place over.
Thor1012 28
um surely there was a way around this? a neighbour? nearby toilets? forgive my ignorance I don't live in flat.. but convinced there was another way
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Comments (43)
RichardPencil 32
You need to introduce him to better-quality **** so he can finish faster.
Average_person 12
just go while he's in the shower, it will give him a message. by the way, he's probably beating his meat and that's why he's taking so long.
Dave_Davington 34
Do you not have a kitchen sink or something?
RichardPencil 32
Back in the day, they'd call that a chamber pot.
AlissaMichaela 8
You had other options: 1. Bang on the door and ask him to unlock the door so you can pee. 2. Pee in the sink 3. Go outside 4. Empty bottle
nainai_09 14
5. It's just a damn pot.
Mooglefox 24
What, no sink for you to sit over?
iswearimhuman 12
Your roommate really needs to learn some etiquette. Do they not realise that they're not the only one in the apartment? Talk to them
haveyou000 22
You don't have a kitchen sink that would've done better than a pot you prepare food in? That's gross. How was that your first option?!
tonyfan00 38
Most people don't have legs long enough for their dong to reach the sink...
BananEnigma 24
And a woman would have to climb up and dangerously squat over it.......... just saying.
KatyMarie 7
We only have 1 bathroom, with 4 people living here, including me being pregnant...myself, my boyfriend, mom, and younger sister...if one of us needs to pee while someone is showering, we just knock and go use the bathroom. Not a big deal, being as we are all used to sharing the bathroom
dabomsht123 3
Should of just walked in, pissed, and walked out!! **** it! Sounds like he don't got no respect for yous, so why show him that much