Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my birthday. My family put a bouquet of balloons outside my room for me to find when I woke up. I walked out of my room, saw the balloons, screamed, and fell down the stairs. FML
Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML
Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML
Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's mom's surprise birthday party. I was sent to pick up the very expensive cake and dozens of balloons. Not only was it windy and the balloons flew away, I tripped and dropped the cake. In the driveway in front of all their family and friends. FML
Today, it was both my and my stepmother's birthday. In preparation, my dad bought a huge banner with my stepmother's name on it, and a lovely birthday cake. When I told him it was also my birthday, he just grunted and taped a post-it note to the banner with my name on it. Same with the cake. FML
Today, it's my 18th birthday. Last month was my best friend's 18th birthday. She spent the night with me, and the next morning, my mom and brother gathered in my room and sang "Happy Birthday" as they handed her pancakes with a candle on top. Today, I was woken up by screams to take the trash out. FML
Today, I traveled 3 hours to a town I hate, to spend my birthday with my mom and brother and his family. My mom didn't realize it was my birthday until the cake slice with candles was placed in front of me. FML
Today, it was my birthday. Also today, same as the past five years, my family forgot my mine and threw a party for my 5-year-old twin sisters who I share a birthday with. FML
Today, I walked into my house to find several of my friends there for a surprise sweet sixteen party my mom was throwing for me. Everything was going great until the doorbell rang and a clown walked in. My mom hired a clown for my sweet sixteen. My friends took pictures. FML
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Top comments
aziatic 0
that's my kind of party
DoomJeff91 2
Why'd you have a demolition crew in your bedroom?..... Oh.
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Comments (75)
allmidnighteyes 11
Oh jeez, are you a police officer? And do you happen to know a Cora Reynolds, by any chance? I'm sure she would like those anatomically correct dolls back in her office.
hk_fml 9
Ewww. That is so freaky. Is it that hard for you to find a real person?
brittrox 0
this is soooo sad, seriously too sad for FML! your life SUCKKKSSSS!!
Xolani 0
Your fault for leaving it where it could be found... And for being THAT desperate.
I_Deserved_It 10
Julay! Julay!
xkat356 0
FYL, that certainly blows. ;)
FerrariCake 2
You use condoms when you **** a blow up doll? And you have more than one? So you have like... blow up doll orgies, with condoms? You should give lectures on ULTRA-safe sex practices. You could even bring your "girls" with you and demonstrate to the class.
kayakinglvr 0
You're an idiot. It's "5-yeaR old" and "85-yeaR" old, there's no need to put S's on the end of everything. And try proofreading your comments before you post them and make yourself look like an illiterate fool.
fmlcomment 2
Wow, you must be such an amazing person, you understand basic grammar and someone else happened to mess up. You're my idol. I want to be just like you when you grow up. Oh, wait, except for the part where you're full of yourself and acting like a jerk just to make yourself feel like you're better than someone else. Get over yourself. Did you understand what he meant when he said "5 years old?" Then the language served its purpose. This isn't an essay. He wrote to relate a story to you, and unless YOU are a complete idiot, the 2 extra s's will probably not hinder that.
bds0688 0
It doesn't ******* matter if it's for an essay or not. He is trying to convey a thought by means of text, so he should do his ******* best to make it easy to read. Everyone knows what he is saying, but adding that "s" ***** up the flow.
olisykes_ 0
#72, couldn't have said it better myself. There are so many people on here who must have shitty lives and try and make themselves feel big by bitching about people's grammar. And #74, he "****** up the flow" of is FML. Big ******* deal. Go have a cry.
BritishHobo 0
I love that the kid and grandma just wanted to have some nice decorations XD
notcoolperson 0
YDI for nots being ables to spells.