Today, I was at my boyfriend’s locker during lunch. He shares a locker with my ex. I thought it would be funny to joke around with his Crocs and pretend to cut them. The Crocs cut. I’m now suspended, and I owe my ex a new pair of Crocs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by spray-painting it on my locker. FML
Today, I found out that my ex-boyfriend stole a pair of my underwear, and still wears them to this day. FML
Today, I was walking my girlfriend to class when my friend came by and playfully punched me in the arm. Trying not to look like a wimp, I turned around to hit him in the arm. Instead, I ended up punching a girl in the face. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me and I'm suspended. FML
Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend and we passed the shop where my ex works at. My boyfriend slapped my ass right as my ex came out. It was so sudden that I started choking on a fry and dropped soda all over myself. My ex kept laughing all while my boyfriend kept apologizing. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I was chatting with a new guy at work. He cracked a joke about me and I jokingly gave him a light push on the shoulder. Half a second after I touched him, he threw himself back and hit the floor yelling in "pain". Now I'm suspended because of this psycho. FML
Today, I went to take a shower, but forgot my towel and dorm key in my room. After my shower, I had to run down to the front desk butt-naked, using only a shampoo bottle as cover, and ask for a temporary key. The person running the front desk was my ex-girlfriend’s current boyfriend. FML
Today, I finally had it with the redneck bully who's been tormenting me. He was repeatedly poking and pinching me and laughing out loud during class, so I slung him to the ground, pinning him. I got suspended. They only called his parents, who never do anything; my "caring" parents are looking into teen boot camp. FML
Today, my ex got arrested for stealing. His new girlfriend texted me asking if I could lend her money to bail him out. FML
Today, I stole a classmate’s graphic calculator because I couldn’t afford one. She reported it missing to the professor. He wouldn’t let anyone leave class until it turned up. Not even saying I had diarrhea had him let me go. In fact, he told me to empty my backpack right there and then. I’m suspended. FML
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Top comments
Anderling 33
Filed under “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes”
Ubehage 32
Wether you are playing or not, always remember: Never threaten with something you are not willing to follow through. You threatened to cut his crocs, and then you cut them. YDI. I hope you know what to do next.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
You sure have a type: assholes who wear ugly-ass shoes.
Anderling 33
Filed under “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes”
Ubehage 32
Wether you are playing or not, always remember: Never threaten with something you are not willing to follow through. You threatened to cut his crocs, and then you cut them. YDI. I hope you know what to do next.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
NOT THE CROCS!!! I love my Crocs, and if someone cut them, you'd better believe they'd be replacing them. Seriously, grow up.