Today, it's Saint Patrick's Day and the nicest day of the year so far. I'm spending it in the bathroom, puking up the sushi I'd eaten last night. The luck of the Irish can't help me on this one. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm on spring break on a tropical island, visiting family I hadn't seen in years. They invited me out to eat, and won't take no for an answer. All of this would be wonderful, if it weren't for the fact that I've been vomiting to the point of expelling bile and dry heaving for the last two days. FML
Today, I woke 2 hours before my alarm was supposed to go off, feeling incredibly sick. I then ran downstairs and had diarrhea while I threw up. I spent Valentine's Day having diarrhea every time I coughed or sneezed. FML
Today, I tried to cook a nice meal for my sister's friends. It turned out perfect and they enjoyed it, while I was in the bathroom throwing up for two hours due to food poisoning. FML
Today, I started 2018 with a bad case of food poisoning. Not exactly the New Year's cleanse I was hoping for. FML
Today, I started my first 3-day weekend in over a month after asking for one. I also start the neverending diarrhea and vomit spiral because my stomach can’t handle a little spice. So much for a relaxing 3-day weekend. FML
Today, after a week of staying in at night and fighting off a persistent cold, I was finally feeling well again, so I decided to go to my boyfriend's work BBQ. I got food poisoning. FML
Today, it's my wedding day, and I have uncontrollable diarrhea. FML
Today, I went out to eat to celebrate getting over the stomach flu. I hadn't eaten solid food in over a week, so I was really excited and ordered my favorite dish. It gave me food poisoning. FML
Today, I started feeling sick to my stomach. I tried to soothe it with some Ramen, which helped for a while. Later on, I felt worse and threw up the soup. Noodles came out of my nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML
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Top comments
The_Toxic_Mite 0
Ooh, the sad, sad irony. FYL.
Monikabug 9
Ahhh, been there! That sucks OP. Next time try to be more careful about what kind of sushi you are eating, and don't be afraid to ask how fresh their catches are. FYL!
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Comments (152)
fylifeindeed 0
FYL! Man that sucks big time...hope you feel better so you can enjoy at least one drink!
Peacemaker9 7
wow crappy st. patricks day for u then op u have my sympathy 100%
smartman136 8
y u no pick a 4 leaf clover?
alexandraa_fml 0
Your name is misleading.
paigeatsflesh 11
ahahahaha ^^
seeimdee 0
^ wiiiiiiiiiin x's infinity xD
kally2010 0
y u no speak proper English smartman ?
sabatical 0
was your poop green too? haha
Pirate_Faerie 5
dude, chase, is that you? if not, my brothe spent yesterday night and and today puking up sushi from last night too! fyl lol that sucks!
Pirate_Faerie 5
brother not brothe... stupid phone lol
ImaginaryFoe 1
This is the quickest turnaround time on an FML I've ever seen.
1LL337 0
YDI for eating sushi
ImaginaryFoe 1
Sushi is delicious. I could go for some right now.
Monikabug 9
Come over, my roomie is making some fresh tonight! Plenty to share. :)
WtfLoser 13
You poor thang . :(
shutupgangstar 0
tvghhfjk