Today, I was walking down the hallway when someone opened a door, smashing it into me. The bump makes it look like I have a third boob. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML
Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML
Today, I walked into a glass door at a busy mall. Not only did I face-plant in front of a crowd, but I also left an almost perfect imprint of my face on the glass. FML
Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
Today, I accidentally touched someone's boobs. It was a man. And I noticed that they were bigger than mine. FML
Today, as I entered a stairwell, the fire alarm went off, triggering the automatic fire doors to close. The one I was walking through ran over my foot, ripping my toenail, and then smacked me in the face. FML
Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML
Today, I tripped and fell going up the stairs, not once, but twice at work as I was leading customers through our building. I actually got bruises. FML
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Top comments
brandy18 0
fail for OPs boobs being so small that the door could hit her and give her a third boob
Dismissal 4
You must have tiny boobs.
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Comments (198)
brandy18 0
fail for OPs boobs being so small that the door could hit her and give her a third boob
VanessaVander 2
I agree
wrestlerbeast 0
how's that even possible? and why would someone that isn't old enough to have boobs even use this site much less post on it
TripleJumpMan 0
there are highscool girls that have almost no boobs. it is a rather sad story.
dumbbitchhater2 0
are your boobs that small or is the bump that big?
wrestlerbeast 0
that's awful
iloveloosy12 0
yeah does that mean you have tiny boobs?
rawr_iliketacos 0
That's either a huge bump or you have some small bewbs. lol
wrestlerbeast 0
I still don't understand how u can be in highschool or older and still have THAT small of boobs
idkweird 0
I was still wearing a training bra my freshman year of highschool. I just hated it in the locker room, so my mom got me VS push-up bras. Im still only a B at 27. Also, one of my friends was smaller than I was(completely flat), and she was BY FAR one of the most gorgeous girls in our high school. Boob size has nothing to do with your age, just your genetics.
wrestlerbeast 0
stupid genetics
Ouroboros_fml 0
this is soo like that scene in Total RecLl, wit the three tittied hooker, and the midget with the machine gun! Arnold Schwartzeneger movies FTW!
Ouroboros_fml 0
er Total Recall
fylrofl 0
way to go, trip nip
AndreaHaha 0
So I'm guessing you have really small boobs cause I can't imagine the bump being that big
luda111b 0
3 boobs... hot. plus I like small breasts. far from an fml.
Peacemaker9 7
#1!!!!! big win!!!!! lol don't think I could say anything after that comment except that op is a flat chest.......
jamiebuczko 0
lmfao #1, nice observation. how're rocks and girls alike? you skip the flat ones!
missmarley93 1
#60 - thank youu! ugh haha. i dont have the biggest boobs either and theres nothing i can do about it. some guys don't like boobs that much, like my boyfriend doesnt a whole lot cause his mom and sister have like huge boobs so he's been surrounded by them, he prefers a butt which he likes mine haha.
hedgerow 0
Same thought here.
Anonononomous 0
tiny bewbies!
erikahhh 0
It must suck being flat-chested. Better buy a new bra :)
ctk8511 0
that's...information...
ydiftw 0
Wow that takes skill
ComMed1 0
tri ****!! that's sexy
perezftw 0
I like ur boobies ;)
Asadsackopotatoe 0
what the **** is a boob??
woofis 0
the ONLY option is that she is flat chested unless the op is just using a retarded metaphore ther is NO WAY that a bump could be as big as even a small boob
pinkdancer 0
YDI for having **** so small that a small bump resembles ur ****
z620 0
ibtc alert (itty bitty tity committe)
sucks4you09 0
115 ur hot ;P
gregsdaman 0
u just like her ******* @139
StoryOfTheYear 15
140- great observation Holmes, how did you deduce that?
MjSmittys 0
lol 1st comment ftw
DrunkenElmo 1
lmao
infinitii 0
the more the better
jt0070 0
I'm assuming 3 boobs is concidered a turn-on..... in some countries
wordgirl 0
Potatoes: A boob is slang for a breast. It is also what one might call a person who doesn't know the common usage of the word "boob." :)
vergaso 0
since wen do white ppl say homez
VeryNice329 0
I didn't even click on the fml to read the responses and I was pretty much thinking the exact same thing as 1. I don't use "fail" though.
timeoffire45 8
totally agree... this actually seems halfway fake...
vanillathirteen 0
yup .. sometimes life sticks ya with bad ones...
StoryOfTheYear 15
166- I was referring to Sherlock holmes
vergaso 0
ohhh ok cudve sed that
WordsOfHope 0
60 in another fml you said claimed to never have used push up bras...
HUrullz 0
194 Attila for the win bitch haha
Dismissal 4
You must have tiny boobs.
xxvibeyb 0
Agreed. :))
vball_luvah 2
hahaha yea like mosquito bite status. sucksss :( well the more the merrier :) I guess? think positive!
StoryOfTheYear 15
worst status in high school: boobless in senior year must suck for them ppl not to be full of myself, but my pecs are bigger than a few girls **** at my school
mshafty 0
^You shouldn't go into further detail about your bitch ****!! You will make the OP jealous...
StoryOfTheYear 15
lol bitch ****?
Dismissal 4
Moobs?
monkye_fml 0
Fight Club FTW!!
Lozza111 0
I have a friend that is like flat as and she's 16 but that's coz she's so skinny, not saying she's ano or anything just naturaly skinny
StoryOfTheYear 15
o 116- I was refering to pectoral, the chest muscle, no, I'm not fat, more skinny than chubby
Lawzen_Rainbow 7
#158. that exactly like me. i weigh 6 and a half stone and I'm 16. doesn't matter how much I eat I dont put on weight. therefor all of me is small including my chest. but I've decided to go for cosmetic surgery because I can't stand being teased anylonger. it's tearing me apart -.- feel sorry for the op like
HoesInaBox 0
o.o I doubt the bump is that big and round, unless your boobies aren't o:
afatmonkey 0
Yeah. I once knew someone with three thumbs. But they were homeless and lived in my attic. I discovered him when I came home to see him eating my Lucky Charms. He then snarled and flew away into my chimney. I just shrugged and went to Publix. The free cookies there are so suprisingly delicious!
EmDizzle2007 28
this was worth the time it took to 🔓 the app twice to get this FML to load
mikeyman91765 0
haha. capenters dream... FLAT AS A BOARD!!!!
luda111b 0
#48 wtf.....shrooms?
afatmonkey 0
expired fruit punch.
HoesInaBox 0
Cheers!
skeez_fml 0
Publix cookies are the best...especially when they're free!
b1acksharpi3mark 0
I love you afatmonkey.
navybabebridget 0
how the hell would a door slam make it look like you have a third boob?? that door must've had damn good aiming. sucks to be you!
akkimber 0
where is the third boob??
karina_said 0
yeah.. i say you show pictures
garuru 4
it would have been even funnier if this was a guy... ah damn it now it looks like i have three man boobs damn it
dinosauring 0
ydi for having tiny ****.
TripleJumpMan 0
they shouldn't even be called **** how small they are aparently.
ImaginaryFoe 1
That's not exactly her fault. But maybe she can keep slamming the door in the same places. When the lumps stack up, so will she.
scratchy209 0
woo! small boobies!
Monikabug 9
You got hit in the chest and it left a bump that big? That's weird...
hotscar 3
unless she's nearly flat.
xx3ginaxx3 0
Agreed, I don't get it! Where on your chest would you be able to get that big of a bump? Unless I'm not understanding something correctly. Please explain!
idkweird 0
Well, if it welts up, it could be a good sized bump. Also, she could be saying it hit the top of her boob, left a large bump, so it would be like another boob growing out of the first? Idk, Im just trying to come up with ideas!
letmeinplease 0
I didn't know you could get bumps from injuries on anywhere but the head :s Yeah, swellings, but they tend to be smoother and generally not boob shaped. If your boobs are small enough that a swelling would look lke one, I gotta admit I'm kinda envious. My boobs are 32HH, I haven't been able to run since I was 16. Grass is always greener on the other side eh?
Einstein714 0
it will make it more fun to dance with you
blueknight1st 26
Your **** are tajt small?
therealpooley 0
That must be one hell of a big bump.