Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's the day after my birthday. My boyfriend got me nothing. Nor did he do anything for me for Valentine's Day. Whereas I got him an $85 game for his birthday, planned a surprise visit to his family so he could see them and his pets, and spent all day Valentine's Day making the house spotless, as well as cakes. FML
Today, it's my birthday, and everyone, family and friends, forgot. Except my dog who left me a present on my bed. FML
Today, it's my birthday, I knew I would be on my own, so I brought some pancakes, only to come down and find that not only had my cat eaten them, but also that I’d have to clean his barf up. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. The only "happy birthday"s I got were from my mom, her Facebook account, and the Facebook account she made for her cat. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, it was my birthday and everyone in the office chipped in to buy me a card, and nothing but a card. It had a pre-written message on it and a space to write "Love, *insert name*" where everyone signed their names. The "Love" was crossed out and replaced with "From". FML
Today, my boyfriend came to visit me for my birthday. Over dinner he handed me a blank card that had the words "I love you" hastily written on it. When the waiter came to take our order he informed him that we'd be paying separately. Happy Birthday. FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday. By that, I mean I spent most of the day alone in a field, waiting for my boyfriend to have time for me, then we broke up, and I ended up spending the evening crying alone on a beach. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a card for my birthday and told me to open it 10 minutes after he'd gone; I waited for 5. In the card was written, "It's not working out, but here's $20." FML
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Top comments
sigarum 0
Ohh noo!!! He was going to work making a living and you were left all alone to do nothing? That's too cruel!
_Mazza_ 0
...What? At least he remembered. It's not like he can take a day off just because it's your birthday, you know. The fact that you were alone all day was your own fault, get some friends.
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Comments (159)
GiRIsMakingCupca 0
at least the cat got you something:)
corme_fml 0
–noun hatred, dislike, or mistrust of women. I was not aware of that before looking... haha... I just thought it was the old fashioned Man works, Woman stays in the kitchen or bedroom opinion/attitude...
TrollTrollTroll 0
Come on over to Fmylife.com where no one is nice and everyone is a hypocrit
tokyohenjin 5
Deal with it. He got you a card and went to work—he's not exactly Hitler.
scarletlily_fml 3
OH boo hoo. Does the princess want a tissue? I was alone on my birthday too but I didn't bitch about it.
fiicere 5
1) Get some friends 2) Either you've got a cushy job where you can afford to take days off for your birthday, in which case don't look down on us poor folks who actually have to go to work everyday, or you don't have any job at all, in which case don't whine about the hand that feeds you. FYourBoyfriend'sLife, because he's getting b*tched about by his girl because he works hard while she's sitting around at home thinking she's some kind of queen and his life should revolve around hers
itspimpz 0
sell his soul to the underworld and the dark ruler budah he will pay you beautifully
J4cks0n 0
You should have callme.
LOLomgWTF 0
Boo fuckity Hoo!!! Don't complain! At least he remembered! There are people in this world who would love to have someone like him. So be grateful!!! Do you just 'love' him for the shit he buys you?! Go get some friends birthday girl.
chrissy888 0
Fuckity vs. Fuckiddy?
LOLomgWTF 0
Let me rephrase that. Get a ******* LIFE birthday girl!!!