Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Time for a freakout
Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML
Wuss
Today, I had to drive 40-odd miles to my grown-ass son's house to kill a large spider on the wall. It had him trapped in his bedroom because his wife had already gone to work. How did I ever raise such a wuss? FML
Freaked out
Today, my son was crying and refusing to sleep in his room because a spider ran along the wall, and it's now hiding somewhere. He’s 19. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Disproportionate responses are the new black
Today, my son nearly burned the house down with a lighter and an aerosol. His excuse? He was killing a massive spider carrying an egg sack. My wife hates spiders so she refuses to punish him and gave him £20. But sure, dear old Dad will spend money replacing the wallpaper and curtains, no problem. FML
Send help
Today, I got stuck in my building's elevator. I pushed the emergency button, which made a ringing noise. After about half an hour, I heard someone yell, "Stop pushing that button, my kids are sleeping." FML
Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML
Today, I drove my car into a fence because a spider was crawling from the mirror. The police laughed their asses off. One of them asked, "What should I write in the report? That she got scared of a spider?" Then he wrote just that. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Leave spiders to chill
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Top comments
postaltubealex 0
maybe you should write a letter to your congressman about the injustice.
_Sophia_ 14
Today, I was minding my own business when this kid tried to hammer me to death. Then ear piercing alarms went off. It's been five hours, I still can't hear. FML
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Comments (93)
leadrunner751 3
first uo
Reyo 2
Looks like it's time to teach that boy how to be a MAN.
sammyprosnit 8
what a joke! when you press the alarm button, all it does is buzz until you let I go! FAKE!!!
valeriekirsten 0
haha thts hilarious!
Maddoctor 10
I really hope your son is under 10 years old. Anything older would just be kind of sad...unless he has extreme arachnaphobia.
drybutta224 0
thats ****** bullshit ihad 2 sign in and this meathead got first comment!
postaltubealex 0
maybe you should write a letter to your congressman about the injustice.
Subal_fml 8
LOL.
FarSide 23
Or, at the very least, go back and push every floor button of every elevator in the building. Don't let the system push ya around.
mina_8 0
Well it could've been poisonious. I doubt it was a huge fine either way. Still sucks for you, I guess.
trucktwister 0
5th all right!
Starchild21 3
Can you ******* count? _____________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
Starchild21 3
Kid's suck lol ____________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
EmilyClaire 0
wtf is with all these comments ending in tht myspace thing.
Starchild21 3
wtf the comment disappeared and then reappeared... _______________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
Cheekers1989 0
Haha, that's hilarious. Poor kid, you can't really blame him for hitting it, he was scared!
zackaryftw 0
Well first of all if ur son's age were 9 then he acted pretty dumb of himself because he would know what consequenses aré implementing for him and Also his Dad. But the Dad were careless of letting the kid letting of his own. ;) btw im post 1 ..... whoops :D
FarSide 23
Naw, just educated in New Jersey public schools.
robotiick 12
32 ur a grammar Nazi so stfu
teentee401 37
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