Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's the day after my birthday. My boyfriend got me nothing. Nor did he do anything for me for Valentine's Day. Whereas I got him an $85 game for his birthday, planned a surprise visit to his family so he could see them and his pets, and spent all day Valentine's Day making the house spotless, as well as cakes. FML
Today, it's my birthday, and everyone, family and friends, forgot. Except my dog who left me a present on my bed. FML
Today, it's my birthday, I knew I would be on my own, so I brought some pancakes, only to come down and find that not only had my cat eaten them, but also that I’d have to clean his barf up. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. The only "happy birthday"s I got were from my mom, her Facebook account, and the Facebook account she made for her cat. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, it was my birthday and everyone in the office chipped in to buy me a card, and nothing but a card. It had a pre-written message on it and a space to write "Love, *insert name*" where everyone signed their names. The "Love" was crossed out and replaced with "From". FML
Today, my boyfriend came to visit me for my birthday. Over dinner he handed me a blank card that had the words "I love you" hastily written on it. When the waiter came to take our order he informed him that we'd be paying separately. Happy Birthday. FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday. By that, I mean I spent most of the day alone in a field, waiting for my boyfriend to have time for me, then we broke up, and I ended up spending the evening crying alone on a beach. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a card for my birthday and told me to open it 10 minutes after he'd gone; I waited for 5. In the card was written, "It's not working out, but here's $20." FML
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Top comments
sigarum 0
Ohh noo!!! He was going to work making a living and you were left all alone to do nothing? That's too cruel!
_Mazza_ 0
...What? At least he remembered. It's not like he can take a day off just because it's your birthday, you know. The fact that you were alone all day was your own fault, get some friends.
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Comments (159)
DynamicDave 11
LMAO that might actually be the best thing ever! Your boyfriend is a legend. Tell him I'll gladly pay him for lessons.
Cheekers1989 0
Oh wow! From your cat? That's pretty silly. Perhaps he is planning something special, instead of just a little ol' present? But, don't complain that you was alone. People have to work, you'll just to get over it.
simoneshh 0
Were you really alone? Even the cat left?
humorizer 14
No, the cat was with her in bed. It was the only male she ever had in bed.
luvcascade 0
how unnecessarily rude
corme_fml 0
I see what you did there, humorizer XD
perdix 31
Nice reference, humorizer! :)
tchaf34 0
I had to read a page more of fml's, but I finally understand your comment humorizer. :D
tyrob911 0
how is this an fml? he has a ****** job. do u think I'd call off work too if it was my girl's birthday? u must b anti social not to have friends come over to celebrate with u or even go out with. there's a lot of things u can do without your bf on your birthday.
Subal_fml 8
I wouldn't complain about this.
supmofukka 0
its the thought that counts. he remembered ur bday quit bein a brat for not getting ur pony.
kimberleym 0
You probably regretted posting this fml when he came from work that night. jk :)
Seventytimeseven 0
Really? You didn't even wait the whole day and he might have something planned on a day that he wasn't scheduled to work. You can't very well expect him to ask off for your birthday that's just ludicrous, most people don't even ask off for their own birthdays.He went to work! You cannot punish a person for having a job be glad he has a job and is sweet enough to at least give you a card, and hopefully a present or some surprise in the near future.
corme_fml 0
He remembered your birthday, got you a card and was creative about it. Sounds pretty damn good to me.
Zombifest 2
I agree! OP, You should appreciate the little things in life more. Presents aren't everything.
grampa_pubes666 0
you must be ugly