Today, it's been a year since I've been with my girlfriend, and I think that I hate more things about her than I like. For instance, how she likes to throw furniture at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend insisted on doing some stupid TikTok where we say one thing we’d change about each other. She hates that I don’t always put plates straight in the dishwasher. I hate that she gets her makeup all over the sink without cleaning it. She got mad and threw a book at my head. FML
Today, it's been a week since my girlfriend moved into my house and I have now discovered she is one of those evil, unnatural beings: a Morning Person. FML
Today, my girlfriend hates my friends and I'm not allowed to talk or hang out with them. She keeps threatening my job. The only reason I'm still with her is because she will try and get me fired. She's crazy and so is the rest of her family. FML
Today, and since we met, my girlfriend has forced me to change my hair, clothing and jewellery, and my diet. She has changed basically everything about me. Then this morning she dumped me because I'm "not the guy she fell in love with a year ago". I'm not even upset because its too funny. FML
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
Today, I realized I hate my wife with a fiery passion. I honestly don’t even care. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML
Today, I found out why my girlfriend has been angry with me ever since I moved in with her. Apparently, she is pissed that I taught her cat how to play fetch and keep treating him like a dog. FML
Today, it's been a year since the girl I'm madly in love with completely cut off all communication with me. She called me crying a year ago, saying she couldn't do the long-distance, unaware I was planning on moving closer to her. Not once has she reached out, and has a girlfriend now. I think about her every night. FML
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
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Top comments
springbok_fml 2
break up?
wmsdubstep 6
Get something bigger and slap her with it!
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Comments (123)
mitzpitz 0
Lmao leave her.
buckeye08 10
Looks like someone is whipped.
Justinrich52 0
She sounds like a bull dyke
ReynshineCutting 10
Have you ever tried talking to her OP? Other than the throwing furniture, what all don't you like about her? If you've never talked to her about any of it then YDI. If you have and nothing has changed FYL and leave. If you love her, breaking up with her might just be the wake up call she needs to change then you guys can maybe get back together after and life will be good :)
trismagestus 19
35: "you've never talked to her about any of it then YDI." No-one deserves to be in an abusive relationship. Unless that's the same advice you'd give to a girl with an abusive boyfriend...?
ReynshineCutting 10
They don't deserve to be abused, no but the bad situation they're in, yes. It's not like his girlfriend started doing this out of the blue. He should have said something to her long before it ever got to this point.
MattPDX 2
Shut up, her girlfriend sucks
Bootle 10
I completely agree with #1. If there are more things you hate about her than like then you're just delaying the inevitable by staying with her. Unless your masochistic, in which case have fun sticking with her. :D
1happymummy 14
Frigging leave then instead of whining about it.
keshaforever1 14
I think this guy should just tell her calmly that it hurts him when she throws furniture and that they should break up or something.
DjeePee 25
How I read this FML: 'Today, I'm tired of my one-year-relationship with an abusive girl. I posted this on FML because I don't know what to do. FML.' For christ's sake, you should have dumped her a long time ago. YTDI. It's not easy to leave an abusive partner, but 1) you were only a year together 2) you hate her 3) you're a man and probably stronger than her. Pack your bags and leave her immediatly.
maidofawesome 0
Well if she can throw furniture, I imagine she is stronger
maidofawesome 0
Well if she can throw furniture, I imagine she is stronger
DjeePee 25
Depends on the weight of the furniture. I can throw light furniture very precisely, I think.
xlibra259x 0
dude break up with her already, she is soo not worth your time.
ShyAnn29 15
And third, get away FAST! she may start throwing cars next