Today, it marks the fourth month since my 15-year-old cousin asked me out, then started practically stalking me when I said no. It's also the fourth month of my parents and his constantly telling me to stop overreacting and that it's "just a phase." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML
Today, I found out that my six year-old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML
Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him get through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML
Today, I brought my new boyfriend to dinner with my family. Everything was going smoothly until my dad asked him how long we’d been dating. My boyfriend looked at me, then said, "Uh, I think it's been… four months?" I looked horrified and said, "It's been TWO!" Now I’m wondering if we’re dating or just two confused people stuck in a situationship. FML
Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts, "GO FUCK YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML
Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of four months. FML
Today, I was complaining to my best friend about my weird cousin and how annoying he is whenever I see him (which isn't often, thankfully). She replied, “Isn’t that my boyfriend you're talking about?” Turns out, yes. Yes, he is. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend is now dating my cousin, and he's stopped hanging out with me for her. FML
Today, the person who I've asked to back off is still messaging me and making me more stressed out. I'm pretty sure he fancies me, but I'm asexual. This after he already promised to back off multiple times. I think I've got myself a stalker. FML
Today, I found out the real reason why me and my boyfriend of four and a half months have "so much in common". He used to be my stalker, who followed me around in a black hoodie and always posted stuff on my Myspace as an anonymous person. FML
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Top comments
Chellybelly92 14
I don't understand why parents just brush off weird behaviors like that rather than just addressing them.
hordriss 14
Your parents should be taking this seriously, that's some seriously disturbing behaviour.
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Comments (119)
Shmatterhorn 38
If you hear banjos, RUN!
RinaRina 9
Your cousin??? Thats sick!
dancinwookie 21
Just a phase, my ass! I had a guy stalk me from the 5th grade up until we were seniors in HS. I'm glad he never murdered me.
ViviMage 40
At least its not a first cousin, right?? Oh wait.... Are you in Alabama??
slimkelsey 17
Yeahhhh....no it's not a common thing in Alabama just like every other state....
NightingaleAnne 5
Obviously. It is just funny because Alabama is one of those states with the stereotype about inbreeding. Nobody actually thinks it is true or common, it is just something that gets thrown around.
cheeseygeek 12
Someone's been watching too much Eastenders
Crammed 10
Da da ding ding ding ding ding ding diiiing.. Damn, banjos weren't meant to be typed!!
slimkelsey 17
Ha that was funny but it's actually not that hillbilly here....well...in very few places!
mzdaisylynn 12
Hello, Maeby
Perdition25 12
Someone has the Lannister bug...
Pierce1987 8
Just do it
MysteryGuest214 10
Past time to involve the authorities.