Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cat pissed on my bed, so I had to change the sheets. Just as I got out of bed and take my first step, I stepped in my cat's poop as well and slipped, spraining my ankle. FML
Today, I tripped on my coffee table and fell face first into my cat's litter box. To make it even worse, my cat was in there doing his business and, pun not intended, I scared the shit out of him. He ran away terrified, then I tripped over HIM while I was going to take a shower. Today is not my day. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, my cat threw up on the floor while I was taking a nap. I woke up, still groggy from the nap, and walked over to the bathroom. Not only did I slip on the vomit, spreading it all over the floor and myself, I think I somehow broke a toe in the process. FML
Today, at 6 am, I was suddenly jerked from the warm embraces of sleep by the smell of poo. I was very groggy and confused when my hand landed in something wet and cold. I turned on the light and was horrified to find that my kitten took a huge dump in my bed. It was everywhere. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML
Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML
Today, I got into bed as my cat crept under it. I then heard him gagging, so I instantly got back up to get him out, because my floor is carpeted. As I pulled him into the hall, he flew upwards, made a horrific "Blagh!" sound, projectile vomited everywhere, then hit the wall and ran. FML
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Top comments
xFaust_fml 12
Of course, it was all part of his evil plan. No stupid dog could elaborate a plot so brilliant.
A7X_LoVeee 10
Well, 37, the cat obviously took a dump.
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Comments (135)
krushr 3
Your cat is kind of an asshole.
waycool 10
don't spit on it's head next time.
monomiscuous 8
I love cats.
CitrusGirl 0
I always knew there was a reason I didn't like cats. I thought it was just because they have creepy eyes. I thought it was just because they're moodier than me in PMS mode. But I was wrong. They're just plain evil.
gemzroxya 0
wow thats moody.
KatrinaKitten 16
How did she imply that she was being moody? It was a funny comment about her opinion on cats. Obviously, you don't understand that. PS: CitrusGirl, I wish I could get my hair like yours. It is so cute!
CitrusGirl 0
Thanks for the back up and compliment Katrina :) I had it my hair done for prom- 50 bobby pins and lord knows how much hairspray. It was the oddest feeling to have it all fancy because I normally just let my hair do whatever it wants.
KaanTech 0
i m going to release my fierce cats on you, so you will have to choose an option A-fight with cats to the end B-love them so you can start a new relationship with cats (diplomacy)
holagranola 15
it was his plan all along >:D
abbi96x 0
Why are your fingers abnormally long..?
holagranola 15
there not really:P a lot of people have the same sized fingers as me
gemzroxya 0
haha they are so skinny, i like your nailpolish :)
abbi96x 0
what's the powder thing coming out of your fingertips?D:
holagranola 15
ahahaha thnk you;) and it's a picture app that I put the picture on:)
abbi96x 0
Ohhhh!:)
abbi96x 0
Why was there cat shit at the bottom of the stairs anyway? That's absolutely vile.
instnt1nfction 17
samurai cat is better
butterflyz1961 2
That was his whole plan.
traze 7
The cats out to get you. You better get him/her first.
FMLsOhilarious 6
Happy Friday the 13th haha