Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while in class, a cute boy came up and asked me for my number. I giggled and wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and told him to call me sometime. He gave me a weird look and walked away. He was asking which number math problem I needed help with. FML
Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML
Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML
Today, I decided to to gather up the courage to ask the cute boy in my math class for his number. He gave it to me, and I texted him later that night. But little did I know he actually gave me the number of the creep in class who is always grabbing my ass. I ended up asking the creep out. FML
Today, I got really excited when I got an email from a guy I've been flirting with in my math class. Turns out he thinks I stole his calculator and wants it back immediately. There goes my chance. FML
Today, a cute girl I know in passing approached me very nervously and blushing like mad. She gave me a note with a number on it, said to call her, then ran away. When I called the number later, it was one of those rejection hotlines. What the hell? FML
Today, a very pretty girl came up to me and asked me for my phone number. Very pleased, I give it to her with a huge smile and tell her that I can be reached at any time. I then watch her go back to her group of friends. My number was for her gay friend, who then meekly waved at me. FML
Today, I was drawing while on the train, when a very good-looking woman looked at my work and said, "Wow, she's pretty. Is it supposed to be me?" She'd said it in a flirty tone, but before I could stop myself, I'd said, "Nah, it's just a generic face." FML
Today, I was working at my job as cashier. This really attractive girl who often comes in walked in, so I mustered up the courage to ask her out by writing my number on a dollar bill. She paid and the amount her change happened to be a dollar. I go to hand her the money when she sees it and says, "Keep the change!" FML
Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML
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Top comments
gr8sexpectations 0
i hate how everyone on this site thinks that a cute girl or hot guy talks to them because their gonna get laid, only to find out that their life is ******
perdix 31
The winning comeback: Well, maybe you'd like to draw a back on my penis?
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Comments (100)
Schmuty 2
It can be a good icebreaker doood.
CallMeHush 1
OMG, would you please rub it off?
ohSNAPyall 27
Nice!
Gobsnoglin 0
Hey penisback, just remember, college will be better.
mshafty 0
Except he will still suck at talking to chicks, so will probably drink his sorrows away with other dudes who are terrible with women. He will get to upgrade to penises drawn on his face when drinks too much and passes out! Basically the OP's life is forever ******!
GeneralElement 0
No. I have no trouble talking to girls. I was shocked because, she usually doesn't talk to anyone other than girls. :|
mshafty 0
Oh really? well then what was your response then. How did you react when she told you a giant **** was on your back. Did you come up with something witty and make a move or did you just act embarrassed and try to get away from her??? Sorry but there is talking to girls and then there is "talking" to girls. One leads to nothing the other leads to sex. my guess is your talking to doesn't lead to the latter!
johannna_fml 0
Ahh, you seem such a douche.. All you try to do with girls is to get laid? I bet you have low self-esteem.
NeNiTa14 0
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!! xD sucks ass for you.
candicemichelle 0
s0o that really sucks! and to all you ppl who are pessimistic about someone having the slightest thought of possibly getting a number from someone they are interested in really need to learn to have a little HOPE! maybe your owns days wont always end in FML!!! so ppl that have such a negitive out look are GETTIng OLD!!
slpknt24 0
Nobody here is getting to the source of the issue here. The OP obviously is a douchebag if someone is going to trouble of drawing penises on his back and if he dosent get dates that just proves my point even more. Experts say that 9/10 people that go to the hospital with a broken jaw probably deserved it.
candicemichelle 0
and where did you get this Statistic? im a dumbass.com and fyi your not obviusly getting the point of this post. he probably gets bullied bc some "douchebag" thought it would be funny to pick on him. so how about you try and be a little nice... bc according to you " Experts say that 9/10 people that go to the hospital with a broken jaw probably deserved it."
slpknt24 0
If your still getting bullied in college thats pretty sad
candicemichelle 0
well maybe if some ppl would grow the **** up and understand that not everyone socailly fits in , then we wouldnt have a problem,. its not like he wakes up in the morning and is like "hey lets see how many ppl i can get to pick on me" ya dont think so.. he doesnt have a choice.
slpknt24 0
He might not have the choice to get picked, But he does have the choice to not tolerate it and stand up for himself. If he is getting picked on because he is a pussy and does not fight back then he deserves it...
GeneralElement 0
I'm not a pussy. I would have beat up who ever did this to me, but I have no ******* clue who did it.
deadsrs 0
experts say 9/10 statistics are made up. Experts also say that 9/10 times people claiming to be "experts" are lying.
mmastermetallica 0
fail websites don't have spaces in them. ;)
candicemichelle 0
okay you have a point for not standing up for him self.bc he should. but that doesnt make him a pussy and he def doesnt diserve it at all. no one does idc how much of a dork someone is.. its wrong,. and ppl that pick on others only do it bc their own self esteem sucks. and i guess in some way it makes them feel stuff bc they are insecure and cant act like a mature adult with respect for others! im sorry im not trying to sound like a megga bitch . but this stuff pisses me off really bad!!
slpknt24 0
Let me guess: You were drunk at a party once and someone drew a penis on your face.
dumbhaters 0
your not a bitch everything you say is true. I happen to be one if those mature males who doesn't pick on peoplejust for fun. I get paid ouut and called grampa for it.
candicemichelle 0
uh no... i dont think so, try again!
aback 5
At least she cared enough to tell you instead of letting you walk around the rest of the day like that.
Islander_fml 5
Okay guys, let me explain this very clearly: Embarrassing situations, like having a penis drawn on your back in front of a lot of girl, is a GREAT OPPORTUNITY. Why do I say this? Because if you handle it correctly, you come off as really sexy. How do you handle it correctly? Laugh. Say, "Haha, a penis on my back? Really? That's funny!" If you are embarrassed by it, the girl will sense it and feel awkward around you. But if you find it funny, they'll sense it and feel relaxed around you and subconsciously think: "Hmm, this guy is cool. And he's comfortable with himself. I like him." So having a penis drawn on your back, or being shanked, or what have you, CAN WORK TO YOUR ADVANTAGE. So YDI for not taking advantage of the situation. But don't take it too hard. You know how to handle it next time.
pepokish 0
I agree wholeheartedly! :) Couldn't have said it any better, myself.
Inabsentia 0
So awkward.......