Today, in bare consciousness, I found out what it feels like to be stabbed in the hand with an earring. How? By slamming my hand on the snooze button of my alarm and missing horribly. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML
Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML
Today, I now know how it feels to have a splinter of wood hammered a full inch underneath your fingernail. FML
Today, I found out what sound a hammer makes when it strikes the back of my hand. FML
Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML
Today, I found out that falling asleep with a bobby pin in your hair means waking up with one jammed in your ear drum. FML
Today, I found out how it feels to have a car door slammed shut on my hand, breaking two of my fingers. Hint: it's fucking painful. FML
Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML
Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. After being upset for not hearing my car alarm go off I realized it had in the middle of the night. I had woken up and cursed the idiot who set off their alarm and put a pillow over my head, falling back to sleep shortly after. FML
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Top comments
Mobetta_2300 22
Maybe try to put your earrings in a smarter place...
Thoricsteam20 24
Red earrings XD Yay
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Comments (61)
Herrochild 10
Ouch!
Dinders 16
That probably woke you up better than the alarm...
Girlie7 11
Well,at least you woke up....
Morning_fml 22
Well, that's one way to wake up...painfully. At least you won't feel like you need to go back to bed with that stabbing pain, right?
teapotrevolt 27
Apparently, the shrill beep of an alarm causes the same amount of stress on your brain as someone putting a gun to your head. I'm glad you don't keep a gun on your bedside stand.
cjfred 13
Is it safe to assume that you didn't do much snoozing after that?
vampire9545 5
snooze you loose
RCN2014 8
bright side is now your awake
outfielder55 17
But you woke your ass up real quick though didn't ya?
flowercrowndude 3
Well that would have woken you up if the clock didn't work...