Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML
Today, my mom grounded me for smoking cigarettes. I'm 13. I don't smoke. She said she smelled it on my clothes. I laughed and said I was in the basement, and used one of my dad's cig's to simulate a house on fire on my train layout. She didn't believe me. Honestly, I wouldn't believe that story either. FML
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, my mom found out about my brother smoking. She calmly discussed smoking with him. On the other hand, I got yelled at and made to do chores all day despite having a university exam, just because I knew about it but I didn't tell her, because I knew that I would get the short end of the stick. FML
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
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Top comments
Dark__Angel66 24
Even though you're grounded, don't let that stop you from working out! Congrats for all your hard work, don't let your brother's jealousy get in the way :)
lanco_fml 10
stay true to your self and out a breeding on your brother
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Comments (77)
JakePower98 5
I've encountered things like this before and I believe I have the best advice: smother him with a pillow while he's sleeping. You're the stronger one of the two. You shouldn't have much trouble. If he starts fighting back, start punching either the pillow or his body until he stops moving. I've done this before. It's 100% effective.
Amizee 12
Nothing wrong with a little green :)... Good on you for getting to the gym though haha
HumanWiki 8
Time to put those new muscles to use and show them both their place.
sebmarks 1
Oh sorry OP. Jealousy is a bitch. Why don't you have her drug test you to prove that you aren't smoking though?
LisandroH 6
Don't let them hate on your gains!
admiralawsome5 2
punch him show them your not lying
CarlosDanger 12
Drug test? Unless you have been doing drugs.
TheAngryPrincess 3
Dumbass mom.
msmedieval 11
Don't let him get you down! Bring some weights home & keep working out. It'll prove to your mom that your brother is lying & it will drive him crazy that he couldn't stop you.
Goast_Remusov 2
Start smoking weed at the house.