Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened, he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML
Today, after faking my orgasms for several years, I found out that my boyfriend has been telling his friends that I'm super loose because he doesn't feel anything when I'm cumming. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me if I have ever or would ever fake an orgasm. I assured him that I wouldn't, when he has actually never given me one. I didn't have the heart to tell him. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that no, my period arriving several days late doesn't mean I have AIDS. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in bed after having sex. I commented on him still having an erection after having an orgasm. He said it happens whenever he has a strong orgasm. Then he added, "And surprisingly, I was even thinking about you when it happened." FML
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Top comments
unknown_user5566 27
I could be reading this wrong, but are you saying your boyfriend doesn't make you ******? If so, definitely FYL.
emilyjgraham 34
I'm sure you did 41, I'm sure you did.
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Comments (198)
Metallica36176 16
I think that is just an excuse for him being selfish and cannot do his job. Either that or you're really young?
chosha_fml 27
No idea why this is getting negative votes. I think this is exactly what's happening.
Metallica36176 16
I have come to the conclusion that once something is down voted, everyone goes along with it (sometimes without reading) and wants to be like everyone instead of having an opinion of their own. Eh you win some, you lose some. Whatever, but thank you.
emeraldisle 30
I would love to hear your boyfriend's theory on how women actually get pregnant.
unknown_user5566 27
I hope his theory it's like the Family Guy cutaway where the stork impregnates the woman.
unknown_user5566 27
is* not it's, oops.
emeraldisle 30
I wouldn't be surprised if he thought that's how it actually happens.
rebel_belle1974 5
if that were true than the human race would've died out a long time ago
mikepzz 27
jeez, he's a sharp knife ain't he..
neurodoc 1
Well you can get pregnant even if he doesn't ******/ejaculate. Lol. (Precum has enough sperms that can potentially cause fertilization). So ask him to wear the poncho. If he doesn't change, let him continue to believe it and some day some other girl will convince him and until then go on the pill. ;)
agonydrum 7
That's not true, Precum by itself contains no sperm at all, it comes from a tiny organ forward of the prostate and serves to lubricate and "clean out" the urethra, the only time Precum will contain sperm is if it is picked up along the way, that sperm will also likely be dead, the reason people believe they get pregnant from precum is because the guy convinces himself that he pulled out in time when in fact did not,
challan 19
A woman's ****** causes her ****** to contract and help pull the sperm to the egg, creating a better chance of conception. However, many swimmers have made it there with no female enjoyment. Sad, but true.
gracehi 33
Oh, those resilient swimmers!
gc327072 31
Reminds me of a cartoon I saw. One sperm tells the other "gee I'm getting tired, how much farther?" the other one says "still a long way, we haven't even passed through the esophagus yet."
Schizomaniac 24
1) Ask him if the refrigerator light REALLY goes off when the door closes. 2) Enjoy countless hours of entertainment.
gracehi 33
*psssssst* There's a button that's pressed when the fridge door is closed that turns the light off...but you didn't hear that from me. ;)
BobbieH 19
If your boyfriend is that ignorant to biology maybe you shouldn't be having sex with him. He obviously doesn't understand the basics of reproduction; to me that means he isn't someone who should reproduce. There's enough stupid people in this world.
Enslaved 38
So let me get this straight. He thought making sure you're NOT sexual satisfied is a new form of birth control? I bet he's not the only one that thinks that.
olpally 33
Good lord... There's no cure for that guy's stupidity if you've had to tell him this more than once... He reminds me of Chris on family guy. Total moron...