Today, I woke up with the worst cold, ever. My nose was running like crazy and my eyes were all puffy. So I stumbled over to the medicine cabinet and took what I thought were three tylenol cold's. Two hours later I'm still sick and I can't leave the bathroom. They were laxatives. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML
Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML
Today, after being woken up with the intense urge to go to the bathroom, and having gone to the bathroom three times in the last hour, I finally realized I took two laxatives instead of two Midol. My ass is on fire. FML
Today, I woke 2 hours before my alarm was supposed to go off, feeling incredibly sick. I then ran downstairs and had diarrhea while I threw up. I spent Valentine's Day having diarrhea every time I coughed or sneezed. FML
Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML
Today, I've been sick with both a chest cold and a sore throat. As a result, I've also been dehydrated, causing me to have a headache. Whenever I cough, I feel like my throat is being ripped apart and my head is about to explode. FML
Today, I'd finally had enough of feeling awful and went to urgent care. As it turns out, the reason my throat was sore was because I have a sinus infection. The doctor explained my nose is producing pus, and that's what I'm swallowing and coughing up. Yuck. I also have pink eye on top of that. FML
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Top comments
24788 7
Wow, you really need to pay more attention to what you're taking next time. You can **** up your system.
freddie_fml 0
Good thing you don't keep cyanide in your medicine cabinet, eh? Reading labels helps.
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Comments (94)
babble 0
#30 I'm guessing it's the latter, except the OP thought s/he only had Tylenol cold meds or thought s/he recognized the box colors, design, etc. I don't think it's like, "Hey, here's a box I can feel in my hands but can't see at all, I'm going to take this medicine."
idanhaife 0
You got the Swine flu... u gonna die! lol
NeverBAckDown_fml 0
YDI for not reading wht ur taking!@
Jertastic 0
You had all the Swine Flu simptoms except for one; diarrhea. You now have Swine Flu.
7_______7_______ 0
I'm James Cameron, with the CDC. Perhaps I can clear a few things up. First off, in deference to our Jewish friends, we can no longer refer to the disease as swine flu. Second off, in deference to those who aren't good with numbers, letters, and science, we can not use the H1N1 nomenclature either. since the most powerful American voting bloc has been in bed with Israel for the last three decades and sucks at science as well, we at the CDC are referring to the virus as Mexican Flu. Because no one ******* likes the Mexicans. Also, don't worry about catching Mexican Flu. The strain of the virus currently in America is much less virulent. For those of you without a strong background in epidemiology jargon, that was a more politic euphemism for "unlike Mexicans, were not so piss poor as to be denied even the most basic medical treatment." Seriously, just stay hydrated and you'll be fine. Mexicans, on the other hand, can't even afford water. We in the first world could probably help them out, but once again, no one ******* likes Mexicans. Remember, this is America, and Obama's not going to let anything touch you. By the way, if the OP could stop by their nearest Center for Disease Control Center in order to report for quarantine and extermination--I mean examination...--that would be great
rakhil11 7
#57-errr...? OP-poor u!!! i would do something like that....
Anniebbyx3 1
uhm, Swine Flu?
becky4evah 0
uhh... how were you able to say this if you were in the bathroom?
fmlfmlfml15 0
JESUS CHRIST PEOPLE!!! She made a mistake. SHE'S HUMAN. People make mistakes which is why they are posted on Fmylife.com. And this mistake has to be forgivable because she was probably disoriented when she woke up and her cold was bothering her so much she couldn't concentrate. Some of the comments here just ruin the FML for me.
ocfan90 0
deff swine flu !