Today, I woke up with the worst cold, ever. My nose was running like crazy and my eyes were all puffy. So I stumbled over to the medicine cabinet and took what I thought were three tylenol cold's. Two hours later I'm still sick and I can't leave the bathroom. They were laxatives. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML
Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML
Today, after being woken up with the intense urge to go to the bathroom, and having gone to the bathroom three times in the last hour, I finally realized I took two laxatives instead of two Midol. My ass is on fire. FML
Today, I woke 2 hours before my alarm was supposed to go off, feeling incredibly sick. I then ran downstairs and had diarrhea while I threw up. I spent Valentine's Day having diarrhea every time I coughed or sneezed. FML
Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML
Today, I've been sick with both a chest cold and a sore throat. As a result, I've also been dehydrated, causing me to have a headache. Whenever I cough, I feel like my throat is being ripped apart and my head is about to explode. FML
Today, I'd finally had enough of feeling awful and went to urgent care. As it turns out, the reason my throat was sore was because I have a sinus infection. The doctor explained my nose is producing pus, and that's what I'm swallowing and coughing up. Yuck. I also have pink eye on top of that. FML
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Top comments
24788 7
Wow, you really need to pay more attention to what you're taking next time. You can **** up your system.
freddie_fml 0
Good thing you don't keep cyanide in your medicine cabinet, eh? Reading labels helps.
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Comments (94)
whatever234 0
You are an idiot. There is no other reason for this.
StopWhiningPpl 0
So are you typing this from your laptop while using the bathroom? Or is the whole "today" thing rhethorical?
imkendra 0
Laxatives do come in pill form. They're typically stool softeners. They need to be taken with a full glass of water and take about 12 hours to begin working. If you were in fact experiencing diarrhea, it's unlikely to be related to the stool softeners, which had not likely taken effect yet. So I think this is made up. Sorry.
thankscupcake 0
Not true #35. Ex-lax comes in pill form, and two of those babies can land you in the bathroom for a good 3 hrs. It is true MOST laxatives take twelve hours to work, but there ARE faster acting pill form laxatives. Being sick sucks. I would say YDI but I just don't think you do. Because really, no one deserves that. Drink a LOT of water because laxatives dehydrate you like crazy. Sorry about your double whammy.
Spiffy 0
A person should always know what they're taking!
alexcanttell 0
SWINE FLU!
Hullaballoo 0
You're on the toilet posting to FML?
_Requi3m 0
First of all; IT'S CALLED H1NI NOW, NOT SWINE FLU. SO SHUTUP. Secondly; Wow, YDI. Learn to read before taking medicine. When your eyes are swollen, you can still see.
Tehalon 0
#40; It's always been H1N1, but they call it swine flu so you shut up. Tho now they are renaming it because it's not 100% swine flu, its a mix of swine, bird and human.
xHaniffax 0
don't go to the doctor's, cos if you do have swine flu then you'll be spreading the germs and other people will get the virus. Stay at home and call your doctor and they'll advise you what to do when you tell them your symptoms. Get well soon!