Today, I saw an old high school friend I haven't seen in years and decided to sneak up to surprise him. In the last 15 years he became a soldier and a Muay Thai martial artist. My arm is numb and I think I may be peeing blood. Never sneak up behind a soldier. It really hurts. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw an old friend while out and about. Since I don't leave the house very often, my friend was surprised to see me in person. He jokingly asked if someone was dying, and I cried in response. I was in fact going to the hospital to say goodbye to my grandma. FML
Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML
Today, I ran into an old friend for whom I used to have feelings. I hadn't seen her in years, so I thought it would be funny if I went up to her and said, "Hey, you look familiar, do I know you?" She thought I had really forgotten her and burst into tears. FML
Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder and slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up and grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML
Today, while at my boxing gym, an old man came inside and did the oddest drunk dance in order to serenade me. I'm a fighter and fine with taking punches to the face, but froze in terror at the sight of this. FML
Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML
Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML
Today, I was at the gym and saw an old friend. I have put on a lot of muscle in the past few months, and she said to me "Wow, you've really gotten big." Just by habit I said "You too." Turns out she's gained 45 lbs since I'd last seen her. Oops. FML
Today, at the local mini-mart, I saw an old friend from high school and decided to surprise her with a hug from behind. Turns out, it wasn't her. It was a complete stranger who screamed, then whacked me with her purse. Now I’m banned from the shop. FML
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Top comments
adcf04619 8
dude are you friends with the punisher?
BurnInDemonFire 39
"Thank you for your service. I'm less appreciative of the body slam, however."
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Comments (9)
adcf04619 8
dude are you friends with the punisher?
BurnInDemonFire 39
"Thank you for your service. I'm less appreciative of the body slam, however."
IrieStorm 9
I would suggest not sneaking up on anyone you're not really close with. You never know how they might react.
acmariner99 25
I already knew that, but thanks for the tip,
Charlie Given 28
yeah I made that mistake when I was a teenager going to wake my Vietnam vet uncle and he grabbed me by the throat and threw me across the room and I started screaming it's me Charlie that really didn't help his CPTSD flashback he was having got my ass kicked by a guy half my weight &size and I was a trained fighter 😕
Taurus_ChicKa 37
You saw a friend from high school and your response was to sneak up on them like a five-year-old? YDI for being immature.
wtfdaemon 3
Give me a break with this stupid bullshit. No one does this shit accidentally.
peterblackmer91 12
Never sneak up on anyone. What the hell??